adriaticum
04-05-2013, 01:05 PM
I never did introduced myself on this forum but after reading a newbie introduction today I figured I better.
I am not much for breaking traditions.
My name is Alex and I am an urban rat. I am 40-ish.
Although I've spent a lot of time in small communities and farms my livelihood still depends on the city. I own a software development company.
Of course I'd rather be in the bush.
I have been a fisherman in LM for years and are involved in several salmon enhancement societies and on board of directors of one of them.
I am not a complete newbie in hunting and shooting but I am a newbie to hunting in BC.
Just for laughs:
----------------
In Gettysburg Pa, where there is a large German speaking population,
a farmer walking down a country road notices a man drinking from a pond with his hand.
The farmer shouted: 'Trink das Wasser nicht. Die Kuehe haben da reingeschissen.'
(Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it.')
The man shouted back: 'I'm from New York and down here campaigning
for Obama’s health care plan, I can't understand you. Please speak in English.'
The farmer replied: 'Use two hands, you'll get more water.'
----------------------
Jewish Divorce
A Jewish woman says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Norm!
All he wants is anal sex, and my asshole is now the size of a 50 cent
piece when it used to be about the size of a nickel."
Her mother says, "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman,
you live in an 8 bedroom mansion, you drive a Ferrari, you get $2,000 a week allowance, you take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?"
--------------------
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following
question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your
wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge
knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you...
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you
are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
family.
What do you do?
THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:
Democrat's Answer:
o Well, that's not enough information to answer
the question!
o Does the man look poor or oppressed?
o Have I ever done anything to him that would
inspire him to attack?
o Could we run away?
o What does my wife think?
o What about the kids?
o Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and
knock the knife out of his hand?
o What does the law say about this situation?
o Does the pistol have appropriate safety measures
built into it?
o Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what
kind of message does this send to society and to
my children?
o Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing
me?
o Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he
be content just to wound me?
o If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could
my family get away while he was stabbing me?
o Should I call 9-1-1?
o Why is this street so deserted?
o We need to raise taxes, and have paint & weed
day.
o Can we make this a happier, healthier street
that would discourage such behavior?
o I need to debate this with some friends for a
few days and try to come to a consensus.
o This is all so confusing!
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.....
(Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click Click Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Federal Hydro-Shocks?!'
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
--------------
"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."
― Theodore Rubin
I am not much for breaking traditions.
My name is Alex and I am an urban rat. I am 40-ish.
Although I've spent a lot of time in small communities and farms my livelihood still depends on the city. I own a software development company.
Of course I'd rather be in the bush.
I have been a fisherman in LM for years and are involved in several salmon enhancement societies and on board of directors of one of them.
I am not a complete newbie in hunting and shooting but I am a newbie to hunting in BC.
Just for laughs:
----------------
In Gettysburg Pa, where there is a large German speaking population,
a farmer walking down a country road notices a man drinking from a pond with his hand.
The farmer shouted: 'Trink das Wasser nicht. Die Kuehe haben da reingeschissen.'
(Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it.')
The man shouted back: 'I'm from New York and down here campaigning
for Obama’s health care plan, I can't understand you. Please speak in English.'
The farmer replied: 'Use two hands, you'll get more water.'
----------------------
Jewish Divorce
A Jewish woman says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Norm!
All he wants is anal sex, and my asshole is now the size of a 50 cent
piece when it used to be about the size of a nickel."
Her mother says, "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman,
you live in an 8 bedroom mansion, you drive a Ferrari, you get $2,000 a week allowance, you take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?"
--------------------
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following
question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your
wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge
knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you...
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you
are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
family.
What do you do?
THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:
Democrat's Answer:
o Well, that's not enough information to answer
the question!
o Does the man look poor or oppressed?
o Have I ever done anything to him that would
inspire him to attack?
o Could we run away?
o What does my wife think?
o What about the kids?
o Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and
knock the knife out of his hand?
o What does the law say about this situation?
o Does the pistol have appropriate safety measures
built into it?
o Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what
kind of message does this send to society and to
my children?
o Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing
me?
o Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he
be content just to wound me?
o If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could
my family get away while he was stabbing me?
o Should I call 9-1-1?
o Why is this street so deserted?
o We need to raise taxes, and have paint & weed
day.
o Can we make this a happier, healthier street
that would discourage such behavior?
o I need to debate this with some friends for a
few days and try to come to a consensus.
o This is all so confusing!
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.....
(Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click Click Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Federal Hydro-Shocks?!'
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
--------------
"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."
― Theodore Rubin