Taking out Father in law for the 1st time - NEED ADVICE

[Toad Hunter]

OK. So, my wife and I live in BC (where else....). My father in law is from Ontario and he hunts hard. Every day. If he sees a track he gets excited. Very rarely does he get something. I also hunt hard here in BC - Smithers, Williams Lake, the Peace, Dease Lake .... We get successful. We have fun. So, we got a permit to accompany and out he comes. No communication - I mean none. Anyhow, that is him I am told.

So, yesterday, as we are getting ready to start to pack and get organized I ask him "hey, here is a question for you - when you hunt do you have a shell in the chamber?".

Why he asks's

Well, when we are walking together and you are in front and you move your gun from your shoulder to avoid a branch or whatever I want to know what is in the barrel that has "accidently" pointed my direction.

He reply's - "I am not going to tell you".

WTF!!!

So, I say that this is important, it is not a personal question, I would just like to know. Are you kidding that you won't tell me?

So, I am like fuming at this point - I reply - "Well, it is simple" - if I do not know then I won't hunt with you (the permit to accompany is with my wife and him).

After this, for the rest of the evening you can feel the tension in the air. My wife clues on ... well talk to him she says. I reply - dear, you know how your family deals with issues. They don't. My family - we scrap till its cleared then make peace and all is great.

It is like I am being hired to get the man something with 4 legs.

Any advice?

Thanks

[guest]

No answers to good questions ....don't go .... who knows maybe the guy is a sound shooter (shoots when he hears something).

You have concerns, I don't blame you. If your all business and he's just a jack along for the ride .......SEE YA !

CT

[.330 Dakota]

I would not hunt with anyone that diplayed that amount of DISRESPECT for me or my safety. Tell him to get back on the plane if he cannot conduct himself in an appropriate manner.

[bridger]

wow talk about being between a rock and hard place. bottom line tho is safety with firearms is paramount. i don't even stand for guys carelessly pointing their gun in my direction. no need for it. if he won't co operate make him go first and don't tell him if your gun in loaded. serioulsy tho sounds like your father in law is putting you in a tough spot, one that you have to deal with. probably best in the long run to take a hard line.

[.330 Dakota]

wow talk about being between a rock and hard place. bottom line tho is safety with firearms is paramount. i don't even stand for guys carelessly pointing their gun in my direction. no need for it. if he won't co operate make him go first and don't tell him if your gun in loaded. serioulsy tho sounds like your father in law is putting you in a tough spot, one that you have to deal with. probably best in the long run to take a hard line.

Agreed, if you let him push you around on this issue, it will never end. Show him you are your own man. He is trying a power move and it should not be tolerated. Bottom line is it was really GOOD of you to do the accompany thing to start with, he shouldnt be so arrogant.

[Spokerider]

Simply put..........he doesn`t respect you, or appreciate your efforts to accompany him.

I`d tell him to get F"$&*? in a heartbeat!

Prolly not what you were wanting to hear, but remember, when you married his daughter, you didn`t marry him.

[Bigbruin]

He is from Ontario after all . Lol

[Toad Hunter]

Interesting comments.

That is what my wife said - I married her and not him.

I do not envy myself that is for sure.

Stressful.

Maybe work is starting to look better for the week!

[Stone Sheep Steve]

Hide all of his shells then you'll know:).

I bet it's his last time out here hunting.:neutral:

SSS

[bigwhiteys]

Put one in the pipe while you're walking behind him... When he's not paying attention let a shot go in a safe direction and make like it was an accident with your loaded gun...

If that doesn't scare him into compliance then you're screwed.

Carl

[Toad Hunter]

Hide all of his shells then you'll know:).

I bet it's his last time out here hunting.:neutral:

SSS

The last time .... no doubt!

But, will there be a first time?

Something to look forward till tonight:evil:

[Philcott]

Just be straight up with him and don't let him sidestep the discussion. Tell him whenever you go in the woods with someone for the first time safety is paramount and you need to know about certain hunting habits and he should know some of yours so you both can be safe and enjoy the hunt.

Clear the air before you go so you both can focus in the task at hand.

Have a good hunt.

[Paulyman]

Hide his shells, when he asks where they are say "i'm not going to tell you" :)

[quadrakid]

Maybe he felt a little insulted that you would question his methods ,particularly safety issue. Bottom line is it is always nicer to have peace in the family. Your both grown men and i,m sure you can work it out. Go hunting with him and you may have great memories instead of bitterness in the family.

[OOBuck]

Simply put..........he doesn`t respect you, or appreciate your efforts to accompany him.

I`d tell him to get F"$&*? in a heartbeat!

Prolly not what you were wanting to hear, but remember, when you married his daughter, you didn`t marry him.

well said..


My house my rules oldman river! I'd tell the prick if he accedently shoots you he better hope for a kill shot as the return fire won't be as nice!

Serously grow some stones and tell the oldman off..

[burger]

Here's a flipside though. Why not assume all weapons are loaded? I personally always assume the other weapons around me are loaded and act accordingly. Do you act differently when an unloaded vs. a loaded gun is pointed at you? I don't.
The situation would have never come up between you and your in-laws if you thought that all weapons are loaded. He is being a pain by withholding the info and I cannot grasp the reasoning behind his answer but people do odd things.

Just my .02

[OOBuck]

Maybe he felt a little insulted that you would question his methods ,particularly safety issue. Bottom line is it is always nicer to have peace in the family. Your both grown men and i,m sure you can work it out. Go hunting with him and you may have great memories instead of bitterness in the family.


Insult or not you want to know that an individual that your hunting with isn't going to shoot you in the back..

[barry1974w]

I'd give him the benifit of the doubt. And make a point of obviously keeping your rifle empty and keeping a very close eye on him for the first couple of days. If he's walking in a group with a loaded rifle tell him not to. Don't ask, tell. Then your wife can't be too angry with you if you at least made an effort to make eveything go smoothly.

[The Hermit]

If the permit is to hunt with you and your wife sit them both down for a little pre-hunt chat. Clearly spell out YOUR non-negotiable rules around safety, rules around chores, sharing meat, sharing expenses, shooting order (guest gets first crack?), and who is paying for his royalty fees.

If he doesn't verbally agree to all of YOUR non-negotiable rules then it is simple... you won't go and then in front of him suggest to your wife that as her husband you would appreciate it if SHE wouldn't go either as you don't want to see her in a dangerous situation.

Let him be the asshole! I actually feel for your wife in this situation too.

[Angel]

just remember that you are the one taking him out and not the other way around.It was a normal question that anyone one would ask when going hunting with someone for the first time. He sounds like a grumpy old fart, who I dont have time for, but yo need to keep the peace with your wife..... tough call.

[Chuck]

His attitude would give me the heebeejeevies. I've been in your boots and have learned to restrict my hunting partners to just a select few.

[Caribou_lou]

Give the old guy a bow!!

[308Lover]

You can't win!

[muledeercrazy]

give him the benefit of the doubt. He is family, and would have to deal with his daughter if he shoots you. I hunt with a round in the chamber, almost everyone i know does. Why wouldnt he? Your question is almost juvenille, especially to someone who might be fairly experienced. Has he pointed his gun at you yet? If not you might be over reacting.

[Hydrojet]

give him the benefit of the doubt. He is family, and would have to deal with his daughter if he shoots you. I hunt with a round in the chamber, almost everyone i know does. Why wouldnt he? Your question is almost juvenille, especially to someone who might be fairly experienced. Has he pointed his gun at you yet? If not you might be over reacting.

But with your reasoning....he's dead.....wife and kids left to deal with it.....and just because you do it doesn't make it right, just like mama said, " if your friends jumped off a bridge would you?".....Darwinism at work and sooner or later you will have an accident. There is NO reason to be walking around with a round chambered. Sitting in a blind is another situation but walking around is just dumb. It only takes once.

as for the situation. the old man either sits down and hashes it out with you and everyone is satisfied or he can take off. my two cents

[muledeercrazy]

But with your reasoning....he's dead.....wife and kids left to deal with it.....and just because you do it doesn't make it right, just like mama said, " if your friends jumped off a bridge would you?".....Darwinism at work and sooner or later you will have an accident. There is NO reason to be walking around with a round chambered. Sitting in a blind is another situation but walking around is just dumb. It only takes once.

as for the situation. the old man either sits down and hashes it out with you and everyone is satisfied or he can take off. my two cents

like i said, i hunt with a round in the chamber. everyone i know does. including the core instructors i know. You can call me dumb all you want, but i pay attention to what i do and i am actually hunting when i am out there. If i am climbing very steep hills, or on trecherous terain i sometimes unload my rifle. i control the muzzle at all times. I dont know what the big deal is?

Sooner or later i will have an accident? I doubt it, do you know what the statistics are? I have the safety on, control the muzzle, and unload my gun if the situation calls for it. Loading you rifle makes noise, and i try to avoid that.

How old are you? Myself, I am only 32. I have been hunting since i was a kid. If i have a daughter and she gets married i would be pretty upset to be in a similar situation. You should be shown respect and treated like the more senior and knowledgable hunter untill such time as it is obviously different. Being lectured about a round in the chamber from someone younger and less experienced than me would really piss me off. It is a sign of no respect.

[muledeercrazy]

asking someone politely not to load their rifle while walking to a spot is alot different than demanding to know if a rifle is loaded and lecturing someone about their hunting practices. I would be mad if i was your father in law.

[bigwhiteys]

like i said, i hunt with a round in the chamber. everyone i know does. including the core instructors i know. You can call me dumb all you want, but i pay attention to what i do and i am actually hunting when i am out there. If i am climbing very steep hills, or on trecherous terain i sometimes unload my rifle. i control the muzzle at all times. I dont know what the big deal is?

There have already been personal experiences posted on this as to why many don't hunt with one in the pipe... IE: Shooting yourself in the head while crossing a fence is just one example I saw a member post on this forum about a friend who passed away.

I've never been in a situation where having one in the chamber before hand would have made or break a kill for me...

Carl

[DGuest]

like i said, i hunt with a round in the chamber. everyone i know does.

Same here, the difference is most of the people I hunt with taught me to hunt, so the rules are well understood by everyone. When I start with a new buddy I am extra cautious at first to see how they handle their firearm. I wouldn't necessarily ask the question you did because I assume everyone hunts with one in the chamber, but I understand your concern. What bothers me most is the way he responded, seems a bit childish to me.

I'd be straight with him, tell him your just trying to be safe.

As a side note, I always walk beside my hunting partner.

[OOBuck]

asking someone politely not to load their rifle while walking to a spot is alot different than demanding to know if a rifle is loaded and lecturing someone about their hunting practices. I would be mad if i was your father in law.


Better to be mad than stupid & dead.....:-D

[pappy]

I hunt with one in the chamber. DGuest is the same way I am, I walk beside who I am hunting with and our guns point away from each other. Decide who shoots first. If you can't trust him and he won't co-opperate then leave him at home to visit others while you go hunt.

[budismyhorse]

Whats the big deal??

you said the permit is between your wife and the old man......let them hunt together and you can spend your time elsewhere......

problem solved. If you already told him you won't hunt with him until he answers your question.....you can't back down! Show him you take things seriously and keep your word.

then kiss ass to your wife when the old guy heads east....;)

[dagreatwhitehunter]

let him no that ontario is just a plane ride away.I wouldn't hunt with a disrespectful individual like that. he needs to know who's backyard he's playing in and that he's lucky to have the opportunity to hunt in the best damn place in the world.

[Hydrojet]

but i pay attention to what i do and i am actually hunting when i am out there. If i am climbing very steep hills, or on trecherous terain i sometimes unload my rifle. i control the muzzle at all times.

so you unload when its unsafe...what are you worried about? Doesn't matter how much attention you pay...that's why they are called accidents.

My family used to leave one in the chamber too until my grandpa's buddy shot his own brother while walking into a clearcut. With the safety on nothing should happen but safetys fail and people forget. After seeing that aftermath gramps said no more. Flat ground with hunting buddies for their entire lives....still happened and it was a failure of the safety....and most likely age of the rifle.


How old are you? Myself, I am only 32. I have been hunting since i was a kid. If i have a daughter and she gets married i would be pretty upset to be in a similar situation. You should be shown respect and treated like the more senior and knowledgable hunter untill such time as it is obviously different. Being lectured about a round in the chamber from someone younger and less experienced than me would really piss me off. It is a sign of no respect.

age has nothing to do with it and I have 2 daughters. I would be upset if the kid didn't ask me...shows character on his part that. The way it is asked will determine the respect. But to be "shown respect and treated like the more senior and knowledgable hunter." is dangerous as we all know that "assume" will make an a$$ of u and me. respect yes but senior doesn't always mean more knowledgable. Being pissed off is more the way you take it than it was intended. Take the time to learn each other and that requires questions to be asked.Takes two to start a fight and one to finish it.....stand your ground on your principles. That will earn you more respect.

[RBH]

Excellent question / tough situation. This is about you and what you require of your hunting partners. Your question is entirely reasonable in my opinion, and his answer is not. On that basis I would not feel comfortable hunting is his company. You can use parenting 101 and give him an "I" message: "Harry, your refusal to answer my question makes me really uncomfortable because hunting safety is important to me. Unless we can discuss how our hunting practices and develop a common understanding then I am not prepared to accompany you on this hunt." No need to say more, really. It is respectful and detached. It is his choice. If he won't get on board with your requirement then you can stay home or you can go on the hunt trip with them but your wife can take him out (in accordance with the permit) and you can hunt elsewhere or make coffee in camp. No need to get personal or into a slagging match with the guy. (By the way, don't assume I deal with my own affairs in a rational way!)

[Toad Hunter]

Whats the big deal??

you said the permit is between your wife and the old man......let them hunt together and you can spend your time elsewhere......

problem solved. If you already told him you won't hunt with him until he answers your question.....you can't back down! Show him you take things seriously and keep your word.

then kiss ass to your wife when the old guy heads east....;)

Good points.

The thing is though he comes across as a prick, or can, and he is a decent guy. I told my wife that OIL and WATER do not mix.

I just have this feeling that I am going to have to be with the 2 of them .... not stoked.

We are going to Chetwynd ... and he is from Ontario and he goes - why do we need a winch on the quad? Why do we need 4 wheel drive? Chains? No clue.

[muledeercrazy]

Good points.

The thing is though he comes across as a prick, or can, and he is a decent guy. I told my wife that OIL and WATER do not mix.

I just have this feeling that I am going to have to be with the 2 of them .... not stoked.

We are going to Chetwynd ... and he is from Ontario and he goes - why do we need a winch on the quad? Why do we need 4 wheel drive? Chains? No clue.

I wouldnt worry about it. I find that people generally get more stuborn the older they are. combine that with how easy it is to have a big conflict in the family when two people are being stuborn, and you have a recipe for disaster. in my experience with conflict resolution you have to look at it from both sides, and it didnt look like that was being done here. In response to the post about shooting yourself in the head crossing a fence, that is a good example of darwinism. If you cant control the muzzle of your gun at all times, you shouldnt be hunting. So really, a loaded gun with the safety on should not be a risk at all. I would be happy if i had a father in law who hunts. start making some allowances for old age and maybe some experience? Maybe he is thinking of paying for your next fly-in trip.. At any rate my advise is to closely watch what he does and at the first sign of the muzzle not being controlled or him showing signs of not paying attention then mention it to him and ask him how he figures you can hunt together.. before you get pissed off

[mijinkal]

I'm with a few others on this one. He should have proper muzzle control, loaded or not. If you don't know, always act like it's loaded.
I still think he's an ass for the way he handled the situation. You're going to be hunting with him, you have lots of time to talk. Just let him know how you're feeling instead of botling it up and holding a grudge against him. Remember that you married his daughter and you're probably never going to be good enough for her in his eyes.
You're lucky that you can go hunting with your father in law. There's no way I could get mine out, nor would I ever want to.

[Toad Hunter]

Excellent question / tough situation. This is about you and what you require of your hunting partners. Your question is entirely reasonable in my opinion, and his answer is not. On that basis I would not feel comfortable hunting is his company. You can use parenting 101 and give him an "I" message: "Harry, your refusal to answer my question makes me really uncomfortable because hunting safety is important to me. Unless we can discuss how our hunting practices and develop a common understanding then I am not prepared to accompany you on this hunt." No need to say more, really. It is respectful and detached. It is his choice. If he won't get on board with your requirement then you can stay home or you can go on the hunt trip with them but your wife can take him out (in accordance with the permit) and you can hunt elsewhere or make coffee in camp. No need to get personal or into a slagging match with the guy. (By the way, don't assume I deal with my own affairs in a rational way!)

Are you a teacher or a professional who deals with resource negotiation?

Good comments!

[warnniklz]

I hunt with one in the chamber. DGuest is the same way I am, I walk beside who I am hunting with and our guns point away from each other. Decide who shoots first. If you can't trust him and he won't co-opperate then leave him at home to visit others while you go hunt.

I'm with you on this one. I hunt with one in the chamber (only when out walking, not in a vehicle) with safety on, and pressure of my firing pin if I'm using a bolt action. I always have and I remember being out with my dad when I was little and he always did.

But if someone didn't want me too because they didn't feel safe with me having one in the chamber I wouldn't put one in. I'd expect the same from someone else.

And rule rule number one in gun safety is to assume every firearm is loaded.

[peashooter]

point is not who hunts with loaded guns or not the fact is he doesn't feel safe with someone who does, so stand your ground. what if he threw a 6 pack in the cooler to have down the trail, another unsafe situation, would you cave in because its the inlaw. lots of people drink and hunt just like walking around with loaded guns. let them do what they will but you can choose who you hunt with and how you are going to hunt. if you are uncomfortable with it don't do it. simple.

[stroh72]

Obviously a disgruntled Leafs fan........ you are doing the right thing. If you have any questions about safety in the bush, regardless who they are, they should be addressed. Stick to what makes you feel safe.

[CRS]

Safety is above all else. End of disscusion. Finding common ground amongst all involved can be a LOT more challenging! There are only 3 people I will hunt with, as we have the same safety philosophies. Beyond that I prefer to go it alone. Stick to what YOU believe in. Your wife, if she too believes in your ideals, will support you. Had a minor run in with my F.I.L early in our marriage. Pretty simple really. The descisions WE made are b/c they are what WE believe in. Like it or lump it. ( Then I went and ordered the "Your little princess, is my little whore" T-shirt! We laugh about it now! Tough spot to be in, but what's more important to you?

[sawmill]

Whats the big deal??

you said the permit is between your wife and the old man......let them hunt together and you can spend your time elsewhere......

problem solved. If you already told him you won't hunt with him until he answers your question.....you can't back down! Show him you take things seriously and keep your word.

then kiss ass to your wife when the old guy heads east....;)

And insure the shit out of your wife so when she gets shot..............

[mudNblood]

Put one in the pipe while you're walking behind him... When he's not paying attention let a shot go in a safe direction and make like it was an accident with your loaded gun...

If that doesn't scare him into compliance then you're screwed.

Carl
This one is the best

[steepNdeep]

Sounds like he's just f'n with ya... I wouldn't sweat it right away and just play along for a while... I'm sure you could feel him out and find a way to crack him.

If not the day of... I'd assume it's loaded and make the call whether you trust him enough to hunt with him. We always hunt with 1 in the chamber with partners that I trust... good luck lol!

[300H&H]

I think you did the right thing.

First knowing how the person you hunt with hunts is important.
There are some people I will not hunt with.
I would rather have someone pissed off with me, and me come home to my family.
It does sound like he gets a little "buck fever". Maybe thats why he does not get his deer.
With that said, the day I stop being excited when I go hunting...I will stop hunting. Its not just a activity...its a passion.

Im sure what ever you decide will be the right choice.

[sawmill]

The reply"I`m not gonna tell you"would have him standing alone while I hunted without him.You MUST be able to trust the guy you hunt with .Bottom line.I don/t care who he is,hunt with me,play safe or stay the F home.He seems to be a smart Aleck,walk away,you will teach his sorry attitude a lesson,or he won/t get to hunt.Bottom line.Your point is you asked him a serious question and he blew you off,on your turf.In my books he gets to sit on his ass in camp for a WEEK until he gets it.My 2 bits.

[Ozone]

When your on your way out hunting swing by the airport.

[TPB]

When your on your way out hunting swing by the airport.

Hahaha i like this answer as much as the one about shooting a round off in a safe direction. A whole variety of answers for you :D

[Toad Hunter]

OK.

So last night I tried to clear the air.

I said - hey, I hope you did not take me the wrong way when I asked the question. I was just trying to figure if you carried one in the chamber. I was suprised by your response.

He says I did not tell you what I normally do - I will not keep one in the chamber if that is what you want.

Thanks I say - I was suprised that it took ~ 20 minutes to get to that point. I am just hoping we have 1. a safe hunt 2. a fun hunt and 3. a successful hunt.

He replies you invited me to come hunting so here I am.

I reply - well, if you want to treat me like a piece of (*%_)_( then go hire someone. I am not into that.

Should I get onto a bus?

No.

He walks away.....

I flip the steaks and follow after him.

Tried to clear the air ....

He walks away again.

At this point I thought WTF - this is crap!

The last point I said (with a smile on my face) is that when my family has a disagreement we play all of our cards on the table. Face up. Be honest and open and deal with the issues. After being married to his daughter I realize that this may not be the way you deal with it ...

He walks away again.

I was pretty close to saying - you know what. I am outta here. But, lets see what happens.

I am not really stoked.

Hopefully I will update with some photos of MY elk, my WIFES elk and my PARTNER's elk. Just 3 elk. Not 4.

Is that bad?

Thanks again.

Toad

[2slow]

Wow sounds like a tough spot to be in.
Bottom line is you have to be comfortable with someone who, in a hunting situation, literally has your life in their hands.
I could not imagine spending any time with this guy in the woods and feeling at all comfortable.
Looking at the situation though, from what you have told us here, there seems to be some underlying issues with your father inlaw that goes deeper than the original question. Maybe not on your part but definitely on his.

[urbanhermit]

Tell him you sure hope it warms up, you like to hunt naked...he probably will pass.

but as others have said, it like eating at your table in your house, its your show, its your rules. period.
If he invites you to hunt there, its his rules and you can pass on the sh$t show for obvious reasons.

[wolverine]

Wow. This guy sounds like a real, sorry for saying, asshole. You're going to have fun with this jerk for the rest of his life. Your camp, your rules. If you don't want anyone carring with one in the spout, safety on, say so and if he can't abide by that point him to the bus. It's about having fun AND coming home alive, not in a bag. Now, that said, I will sometimes carry with one in the spout with my hand over the trigger guard but if I sling it and am pushing through the bush it's empty. It takes one twig in the trigger guard or one branch to flip the safety off and there could be a tragedy. Man, I don't envey you your position. Good luck and do what you feel is right.

[1/2 slam]

No answers to good questions ....don't go .... who knows maybe the guy is a sound shooter (shoots when he hears something).

You have concerns, I don't blame you. If your all business and he's just a jack along for the ride .......SEE YA !

CT


Answer the question or the trips over before it starts.

[muledeercrazy]

I still have my doubts. I am wondering who is the asshole. If you are looking for a bunch of guys to make you feel completly in the right, you found it here. Listening to your last post makes me think you are the type of guy who has to get the last word in. Is this about safety, or who is right? Did i misread your last statement or did he not say he would do what you prefer and you started your argument up all over because you had to have the last word...? Talking about a safe hunt, and then a fun hunt, and then a scuccesful hunt sounds an awful lot like lecturing to me. The interesting thing to me in this whole thread is that you have not responded to a post (namely mine) that questions if you are in the right or not. Makes me think you have not even considered that you are not, and might be making the story suit what you want to hear?

[Toad Hunter]

Did i misread your last statement or did he not say he would do what you prefer and you started your argument up all over because you had to have the last word...? Talking about a safe hunt, and then a fun hunt, and then a scuccesful hunt sounds an awful lot like lecturing to me. The interesting thing to me in this whole thread is that you have not responded to a post (namely mine) that questions if you are in the right or not. Makes me think you have not even considered that you are not, and might be making the story suit what you want to hear?

Hey Crazy - perhaps you did misread the statement - or I did not clearly articulate the story. Yah, thanks for doing as I ask but a whole lot of time passed.

The lecture - perhaps. My trip. My rules.

And suiting the story ... hey, that is why I am asking for advice, even from aholes, as they may show something I have not considered. As dumb as aholes can be sometimes they do have a use in life!

[Toad Hunter]

in my experience with conflict resolution you have to look at it from both sides, and it didnt look like that was being done here. In response to the post about shooting yourself in the head crossing a fence, that is a good example of darwinism. If you cant control the muzzle of your gun at all times, you shouldnt be hunting. So really, a loaded gun with the safety on should not be a risk at all. I would be happy if i had a father in law who hunts. start making some allowances for old age and maybe some experience? Maybe he is thinking of paying for your next fly-in trip.. At any rate my advise is to closely watch what he does and at the first sign of the muzzle not being controlled or him showing signs of not paying attention then mention it to him and ask him how he figures you can hunt together.. before you get pissed off

OK, Crazy - re-read your post.

I did not mention about shoot myself in the head while crossing a fence.

So, really, a loaded gun with the safety on should not be a risk at all?

Wow - where did you get your PAL?

And, in response about you wishing you had a father in law who hunts - maybe do something in his field?

[muledeercrazy]

OK, Crazy - re-read your post.

I did not mention about shoot myself in the head while crossing a fence.

So, really, a loaded gun with the safety on should not be a risk at all?

Wow - where did you get your PAL?

And, in response about you wishing you had a father in law who hunts - maybe do something in his field?

I got my license from Tim Towers in Victoria, and hunted with him as well. My point is this, why should it be your rules or the highway. I heard that mentioned in another reply, that it is your camp and your rules. That sounds a lot like a dictatorship and i dont know many people who hunt like that. I dont mean to call you an asshole, i just want you to think that maybe the experience is offensive to him, and poeple do get a lot more stuborn as they get older. Try to look at it from his point of view. Why dont you do a poll and ask who hunts with one in the pipe? I think you will find most do. As far as the core, unloading your rifle while crossing a fence has been part of the test in bc for 20 years.. I think that is just common sense. I mentioned it in response to a different comment, sorry to confuse the issue. Like i said before, i would see if he gives you a reason to mistrust him before you have a huge family division. It seems to me you are being controllling, and maybe not happy about him being there. I could understand that, but safety is like ethics and everyone has slightly different views. I didnt mean to offend, i just wanted to give you some feedback from the other side..

[Spokerider]

OK.

So last night I tried to clear the air.

I said - hey, I hope you did not take me the wrong way when I asked the question. I was just trying to figure if you carried one in the chamber. I was suprised by your response.

He says I did not tell you what I normally do - I will not keep one in the chamber if that is what you want.

Thanks I say - I was suprised that it took ~ 20 minutes to get to that point. I am just hoping we have 1. a safe hunt 2. a fun hunt and 3. a successful hunt.

He replies you invited me to come hunting so here I am.

I reply - well, if you want to treat me like a piece of (*%_)_( then go hire someone. I am not into that.

Should I get onto a bus?

No.

He walks away.....

I flip the steaks and follow after him.

Tried to clear the air ....

He walks away again.

At this point I thought WTF - this is crap!

The last point I said (with a smile on my face) is that when my family has a disagreement we play all of our cards on the table. Face up. Be honest and open and deal with the issues. After being married to his daughter I realize that this may not be the way you deal with it ...

He walks away again.

I was pretty close to saying - you know what. I am outta here. But, lets see what happens.

I am not really stoked.

Hopefully I will update with some photos of MY elk, my WIFES elk and my PARTNER's elk. Just 3 elk. Not 4.

Is that bad?

Thanks again.

Toad


Clearly, your FIL lacks communication skills, or is unwilling to participate in discussion thoroughly enough to clear the air, to the satisfaction of both parties. What does that say? Respect??
This issue is not about hunting, as you already know..........you have an uncertain relationship with the old man for the duration........

Sounds like you`re roped into elk hunting with him. If it were me, I`d have only the necessary rapor with him, hold fast to your values, stay professional and non-committed, keep your ideas about having him as a friend on simmer......it ain`t lookin too good. Don`t bend or grovel, let him EARN your respect, if he`s so inclined. Ity may or may not ever happen.

Such is family dynamics!

[Toad Hunter]

Clearly, your FIL lacks communication skills, or is unwilling to participate in discussion thoroughly enough to clear the air, to the satisfaction of both parties. What does that say? Respect??
This issue is not about hunting, as you already know..........you have an uncertain relationship with the old man for the duration........

Sounds like you`re roped into elk hunting with him. If it were me, I`d have only the necessary rapor with him, hold fast to your values, stay professional and non-committed, keep your ideas about having him as a friend on simmer......it ain`t lookin too good. Don`t bend or grovel, let him EARN your respect, if he`s so inclined. Ity may or may not ever happen.

Such is family dynamics!

Spokeride

Gates - well said.

Thanks

PS - Where is the land of Gates?

[sawmill]

Hey Crazy - perhaps you did misread the statement - or I did not clearly articulate the story. Yah, thanks for doing as I ask but a whole lot of time passed.

The lecture - perhaps. My trip. My rules.

And suiting the story ... hey, that is why I am asking for advice, even from aholes, as they may show something I have not considered. As dumb as aholes can be sometimes they do have a use in life!

Cut his ass loose.Period .
Your house-your rules.
I feel sorry for your wife ,she had to live with him for years until she hooked up with a real man.

[Martin_Hunter]

I can't give you an advice,but I can just tell you that I hunt alone now.The reason being most people ruined my hunting trips,in the past.
The last time I had to go hunting with 2 other guys in region 5.They left after 2 days(thank God!).The next 4 days I shot a mulie buck and a doe(I had LEH).So,that was it for me.I only hunt alone,now.

[.303]

I'm glad I'm not the only one with father-in-law issues...... it seems the only time we have something in common is hunting season.

As per your dilemma....I wouldn't go out with him, and when he makes a big fuss...tell him "oh well, I'm sure your daughter would like me coming home in a truck rather than a body bag".