Lee
12-16-2009, 01:42 AM
So it's outdoor week in Johnny's class, and on Monday Johnny's teacher talks about animals that live in the forest. She asks if anyone has ever been out hunting before. Little Johnny bolts out of his chair, hand raised shouting, "Me! Me! PICK ME!"
Seeing that no one else in the class has responded to her question, she says,"OK Johnny, have you ever been out hunting before?"
Johnny says, " No, but my dad goes out all the time and kills lots of sh#t."
A little stunned, but not surprised by Johnny's outburst she replies, "Well that's nice...and being that no one else has ever hunted I am going to treat you all with some wild game meat over the course of the next few days." The rest of the class looked pleased and they moved on with their studies.
So the following day, the teacher brings in a platter of cooked meat, gets the class to pass it around and try a sample of it. Then she asks, "Can anyone tell me what kind of animal that meat came from?"
Little Johnny bolts out of his chair, hand raised shouting, "Me! Me! PICK ME!"
Seeing that no one else in the class has responded to her question, she says,"OK Johnny, do you know what kind of meat that is?"
Johnny says, " Yeah! My dad goes out hunting all the time and kills lots of sh#t and that there is Elk."
"Right you are! That is Elk meat and is one of the three tastiest game animals you can hunt and eat." The rest of the class looked pleased and they moved on with their studies.
So the following day, the teacher brings in another platter of cooked meat, gets the class to pass it around and try a sample of it. Then she asks, "Can anyone tell me what kind of animal that meat came from?"
Little Johnny bolts out of his chair again, hand raised shouting, "ME! ME! PICK ME!"
Seeing that no one else in the class has responded to her question, she says,"OK Johnny, do you know what kind of meat that is?"
Johnny says, " Yeah! My dad goes out hunting all the time and kills lots of sh#t and that there is Moose. My dad kills lots of f##king (f@#king) Moose. LOTS."
"Right you are! That is Moose meat and is the second of the three tastiest game animals you can hunt and eat." The rest of the class looked pleased and they moved on with their studies.
So the following day, the teacher brings in a third platter of cooked meat, gets the class to pass it around and try a sample of it. Then she asks, "Can anyone tell me what kind of animal that meat came from?"
The whole class sits there looking at Johnny.
The teacher asks "Do you know what that is Johnny? Your dad hunts lots and this is a fairly common animal to come across."
Johnny looks stunned as he chews his peice of meat. He says, "No, I don't know what that is. Kinda tastes funny too..."
The teacher tries to help him out a little, "Well I'll give you a hint for the name of it, maybe you can guess what it is from that. The name of the animal is the same name your dad might call your mom lots. He probably calls her this quite often."
Johnny's eyes open wide and he SPITS out the peice of meat and shouts, "QUICK! Everyone SPIT IT OUT it's Old Cun#!!!!!
Maybe it was funnier when I first heard it at -40 in a rig camp, but it's the only hunting joke I know. Hope you enjoyed it.
Seeing that no one else in the class has responded to her question, she says,"OK Johnny, have you ever been out hunting before?"
Johnny says, " No, but my dad goes out all the time and kills lots of sh#t."
A little stunned, but not surprised by Johnny's outburst she replies, "Well that's nice...and being that no one else has ever hunted I am going to treat you all with some wild game meat over the course of the next few days." The rest of the class looked pleased and they moved on with their studies.
So the following day, the teacher brings in a platter of cooked meat, gets the class to pass it around and try a sample of it. Then she asks, "Can anyone tell me what kind of animal that meat came from?"
Little Johnny bolts out of his chair, hand raised shouting, "Me! Me! PICK ME!"
Seeing that no one else in the class has responded to her question, she says,"OK Johnny, do you know what kind of meat that is?"
Johnny says, " Yeah! My dad goes out hunting all the time and kills lots of sh#t and that there is Elk."
"Right you are! That is Elk meat and is one of the three tastiest game animals you can hunt and eat." The rest of the class looked pleased and they moved on with their studies.
So the following day, the teacher brings in another platter of cooked meat, gets the class to pass it around and try a sample of it. Then she asks, "Can anyone tell me what kind of animal that meat came from?"
Little Johnny bolts out of his chair again, hand raised shouting, "ME! ME! PICK ME!"
Seeing that no one else in the class has responded to her question, she says,"OK Johnny, do you know what kind of meat that is?"
Johnny says, " Yeah! My dad goes out hunting all the time and kills lots of sh#t and that there is Moose. My dad kills lots of f##king (f@#king) Moose. LOTS."
"Right you are! That is Moose meat and is the second of the three tastiest game animals you can hunt and eat." The rest of the class looked pleased and they moved on with their studies.
So the following day, the teacher brings in a third platter of cooked meat, gets the class to pass it around and try a sample of it. Then she asks, "Can anyone tell me what kind of animal that meat came from?"
The whole class sits there looking at Johnny.
The teacher asks "Do you know what that is Johnny? Your dad hunts lots and this is a fairly common animal to come across."
Johnny looks stunned as he chews his peice of meat. He says, "No, I don't know what that is. Kinda tastes funny too..."
The teacher tries to help him out a little, "Well I'll give you a hint for the name of it, maybe you can guess what it is from that. The name of the animal is the same name your dad might call your mom lots. He probably calls her this quite often."
Johnny's eyes open wide and he SPITS out the peice of meat and shouts, "QUICK! Everyone SPIT IT OUT it's Old Cun#!!!!!
Maybe it was funnier when I first heard it at -40 in a rig camp, but it's the only hunting joke I know. Hope you enjoyed it.