An ULTRA EPIC Stone sheep hunt

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

The air was crisp that morning, my bella clava covering most of my frozen face, I forced my self further up the hill, my 30/30 open sights rifle securely strapped over my right shoulder. The only warmth in my body was the Wisers Deluxe whiskey, slowly saturating into my already alcohol enriched blood stream.
About two weeks back my ex Allison, told me there was some massive sheep in an area she liked to call "Hog Haven". I was a bit skeptical because of my previous experiences sheep hunting and the excruciatingly hard terrain that i had faced before....legs of jello, and and a hangover that would bring down a large rutting bull Moose down to its knees. But, I thought it over and bringing down a trophy Sheep vs the pain I would endure, overall it was worth it. Besides I might get lucky with the ex, even if i couldn't bring down a monster stone sheep.
So back to the story....we had been hiking for three days since we had departed from the jet boat, i had barely eaten anything for the last days since i had prioritized the Wisers over the dehydrated mountain house meals. We still had another day of hiking ahead of us....the hardest of the four days. I looked up westward to one of the southern most mountains, the sun was slowly creeping its way out of sight. I then turned to look down hill and then realized that Allison had caught up to me, without a word she took the lead and said lets pitch a tent here....I didn't argue!
Taking a quick sip from my flask I turned to follow her centering my focus on that fine piece, and I'm not talking about her browning titanium mountain rifle.
We had seen Grizzly sign on the way in, and thinking back to rattlers story, I wasn't about to go into our tent without a loaded gun, I was cocked and locked. I didn't sleep very much that night, but at least we didn't encounter any bears.
Next morning with a squal moving in, I was yet again nursing a mad hangover, nothing that a shot or two wouldn't cure; thinking back to my days playing ball and the miracles I had some how pulled off. I knew I was all right. Besides if it worked for that deadbeat Mickey Mantle it would damn well work for me. So on we trudged up the mountain in the dark of pre-dawn. We were just about to arrive in our honey hole. Would our monster be there? My ex swore that she had talked with the GO in the area and he hadn't made it into this valley yet this year and wasn't going to head in as it was the end of sheep season and the conditions were nearly impassable.
As we peered into the hanging valley all I could see was white, we might had camped out here for a few days to let the weather clear, but our time was pressed as this was the last day of sheep season. And I wasn't about to let a little bit of snow get between me and ol'curly. We pressed on, into the blizzard with my camp on my back. Right then a thought crossed my mind to give up and go home. But I am sheep hunter, and the only way I am going to give up is to die a slow frozen death, or be lured into the tent by a devilish looking she wolf. Thoughts of star wars 1 crossed my mind and I thought of warming my hands like skywalker did in the belly of a monster snow caped stone sheep.
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I saw movement. From there I couldnt even describe the excitement I felt, only a very few could know, let alone describe what happened next...the orgasmic yet terrifyingly confusing moments in your life when you know that you know that your next shot will define the fact that thus far you have been to cheap to taxedermy previous animals and now you damn will have to if this big boy goes down. There was a lot of firsts that day.... one I had started to respect my ex that day because not a lot of girls would have trekked that far to let me shoot first on a Ram....let alone let me have relations with her, after her younger Sister had taken advantage of me at a party.
I got into position, thoughts swirling in my head, as they always do before you make a big kill. Is my rifle still accurate? Are my handloads gonna fire as built? Will the wind or an upward angle affect my shot, and by how much?? I went down into prone position, took half a breath in, my tongue touched and slid along the lower part of my mouth (i was focused) as i eased the trigger back. A tenth of a second went by as the Ram heard me breathe out, as I realized the safety was still on...(too bad i hadn't thought about safety when I rammed my ex. But unlike my Ex I was worried about this Ram getting away...this was a horny beast)
Switching the safety off, I put 2 pounds of pressure on my two and a half pound trigger. By this time the Ram had sensed our presence. I knew i had only one shot, as the Ram was heading over a ridge. The thirty calibre bullet smacked the Ram broadside 220 yards away. The Ram shuddered and made to take off, its feet were moving but the beast was stunned. I cocked the lever action back again and fired a second shot, my 30/30 smacked against my muscular shoulder sending a jolt through my entire torso. The shot was true...the beast gave one last jolt of movement, then fell to the ground, horns down into the rocky slide.
Total calm took over me, and I started to shake as the realization came over me of what i did. I had fallen a book ram. I quickly ran towards the fallen beast, Allison falling in close behind. As we pulled up to the sheep I knew this was a big one. I pulled out my measuring tape and measured the horns on the beast they came in at 44 inches each. Good thing i had a measuring tape cause what happened next was a nightmare. As we sat in the clearing I sensed more movement, but unlike the sheep when i had shot it, this was not 20 yards off. Fear hit me like a moving wall of pure adrenaline...instinctually I yelled to Allison "Grizzly!" The giant beast stood close to 8 foot tall, giving an if described giant earth shatterring roar. It headed straight for the downed sheep...I fumbled for my Camera, knowing Alison had the bear in her sights...I needed a picture of this trophy Ram, turned the power on, and snapped one shot. Then the power light flashed, batteries were dead, I had left it on while taking intoxicated pictures the night before in my tent.
Suddenly the bear turned towards our direction, we started to run, tripping over a stone the camera flew out of my hands. I watched as the camera tumbled through the air landing on a jagged piece of cliff, camera parts flying through the frozen chilled air. We both ran as hard and as fast as we could, furiously making our descent.
With a severe storm front moving in, we couldn't go back up for our packs, or for the gigantic curls the bear was standing over. With nothing left to our selves but our witts and my flask of whiskey we headed back down to the boat and to warmer temperatures.
Some where on the mountain my friends lays a half eaten sheep, a full bellied bear and a broke ass camera with a memory card with a picture of an epic sheep, and multiple pictures of my naughty self getting jiggy with my ex. If those pictures ever get out, if anyone on here should ever find a pentax digital camera in the mountains, please feel free to email those shots back to me. You can keep the pictures of the sheep.
TWSH

[wildprotien]

omg thats too funny I didn't dare jump to the punch line at the end though I knew it was headed that way lol ... thanks for the laugh.

[BuriedByTheDead]

good story :)

[BCbillies]

Interesting . . . you into the Wisers tonight?

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

I onlny drink wisers when I hunt sheep, i just thought I would share this adventure with you, now that I'm back. I am so sick of people always judging stories on here. This is why I havn't written anything on here. The reason I didn't write it soon was that this story was just so unbelievable.

PS: You would drink wisers too if you had to go hunting with your ex's

[whitetailsheds]

Didn't find the Pentax camera, but I think I found your video camera:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF3_NN8AxBQ

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

You see, this is the kind of pig ignorance I have come to expect from posting my tales of high adventure on this site. Well THIS WILL BE THE LAST POST YOU SEE FROM ME!!!

[Phil]

Bhaa ha ha.......good story! You are a talented writer.

[BiG Boar]

I havnt laughed so hard in a while! I hope you go back and find that camera!

[hunter1947]

Wow what a laugh that was some wright up ,I love to find the camera just to see the pic http://www.huntingbc.ca/forum/images/icons/icon12.gif.

[sawmill]

You see, this is the kind of pig ignorance I have come to expect from posting my tales of high adventure on this site. Well THIS WILL BE THE LAST POST YOU SEE FROM ME!!!

Promise????????

[whitetailsheds]

You see, this is the kind of pig ignorance I have come to expect from posting my tales of high adventure on this site. Well THIS WILL BE THE LAST POST YOU SEE FROM ME!!!

"Pig ignorance"? I prefer "dumbass" sense of humour....but each to their own.
You set yourself up in the first 3 lines of your "tales of high adventure" for the type of response I submitted. It happens a wee bit on HBC.
Perhaps if were a little more descriptive in your consuming "Wiser's" on the mountain, I would not have thought of that YouTube clip. By the way, I prefer CR or Alberta Springs, Gibby's.
When I read "already alcohol enriched bloodstream", I just conjured up this image of you slobbering drunk, stumbling your way up the sheep hill, having thoughts about "ramming" your "ex".
A little more description of that may have totally distracted me from the point of you being inebriated.
You see, I don't have the luxury of following someone up the mountain with a tight, taut, svelt, curvatious behind. My sheep hunting partners aren't like that.
When I'm following them up them sheep hills, I'm thinking of "ramming" something else. A sheep.
Ahhhhh mannn......look at what you made me do...I've got this all twisted around now!
This has nothing to do with me being a hairy-legged, ugly assed Scot.
Nothing to do with my clans' tartan, rubber boots, and velcro gloves. This is getting really baaaaaaad.
I think what I'm trying to say is hang around HBC some more. The senses' of humour here are incredible.
My utmost apologies to you. I did enjoy the read.

[325 wsm]

A drunken hunter story is just ammo for the anti's. Even if it is B.S.

[Will]

Bhaa ha ha.......good story! You are a talented writer.
Well good at copy and pasting anyways............

[THE SWEDE]

Hahahhahaa awsome.You can sit by my campfire anytime

[vortex]

Do you also write for Penthouse Forum??? Usually a story like that starts with "I can't believe it happened to me...":)

[Ddog]

You see, this is the kind of pig ignorance I have come to expect from posting my tales of high adventure on this site. Well THIS WILL BE THE LAST POST YOU SEE FROM ME!!!

i am with sawmill on that,,,PROMISE?

[huntcoop]

That was an EPIC post........riveting till the end, can't imagine what 2010 will bring.

[troutseeker]

So what ever happened next to "The Stumbling Laughter House"?

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

So what ever happened next to "The Stumbling Laughter House"?

Oh thats good...thats really funny....and witty too, at first i didnt get it, and then I realized that you used my initials and then changed them around....thats gold. One second i just gotta grab my journal, so I can write that down in it. So later tonight when I read it I can have a laugh later. It will say " Today troutseeker made a very funny joke, and he used humour to divert the fact that I am ten times the sheep hunter that he will ever be, and he probably is very jealous of me because i slayed a magnificent stone sheep, and he is very angry because the closest he will ever get to a sheep of that magnituted will be through the written real life adventures of
The Walking Slaughter House

[willy442]

Oh thats good...thats really funny....and witty too, at first i didnt get it, and then I realized that you used my initials and then changed them around....thats gold. One second i just gotta grab my journal, so I can write that down in it. So later tonight when I read it I can have a laugh later. It will say " Today troutseeker made a very funny joke, and he used humour to divert the fact that I am ten times the sheep hunter that he will ever be, and he probably is very jealous of me because i slayed a magnificent stone sheep, and he is very angry because the closest he will ever get to a sheep of that magnituted will be through the written real life adventures of
The Walking Slaughter House

If you were a Sheep Hunter and had shot a Ram anywhere around 40 inches, the bullshit story would have never came to be. You would have had the horns on your back and been dragging the Bear hide. So I call BULLSHIT!

[BiG Boar]

Tell us another tale! We eagerly await your next story of high adventure, romance, and amazing fortitude!

[Ambush]

Saaayyyy....., you're not Pee Wee Herman are you?

[rocksteady]

I hope this is a just a BS tall tale...If not, it sure shows poor qualities of what some "hunters" are....

[BCHunterFSJ]

If you want us to find your camera you will have to post the exact location of where all this happened...

[870]

I give the story 5 stars!!!

[olharley guy]

Howdy, that was a pretty good story, reminds me of the ones I used to read in Outdoor Life and Field and Stream about 25 years ago but you did leave out the type of bullets and how many grains of powder that were in the handloads for the 30-30. Otherwise basically the same type of informative writing/story telling.:-D Later

[hotload]

Ficticious story, just decently commentable, Whiskey swilling, sexual dreams and inuendo, total drivel and classless. Love good hunting stories, don't need anything to do with your inebriated whiskey swilling drunken thoughts on the mountain. Need an Intervention?????? As per your never writing anything up on here again, like others said, PROMISE.

[Clint]

Well there goes my joke I had for my first post.Guess I'll keep working on it.

[338]

I am so sick of people always judging stories on here. This is why I havn't written anything on here. The reason I didn't write it soon was that this story was just so unbelievable.


Thats why you should have kept this one to yourself. This story wreaks of BS. This is a hunting site....no one wants to hear your wildest fantasies and dreams about you and your exs sister.

[Kody94]

The air was crisp that morning, my bella clava covering most of my frozen face, I forced my self further up the hill, my 30/30 open sights rifle securely strapped over my right shoulder. The only warmth in my body was the Wisers Deluxe whiskey, slowly saturating into my already alcohol enriched blood stream.
About two weeks back my ex Allison, told me there was some massive sheep in an area she liked to call "Hog Haven". I was a bit skeptical because of my previous experiences sheep hunting and the excruciatingly hard terrain that i had faced before....legs of jello, and and a hangover that would bring down a large rutting bull Moose down to its knees. But, I thought it over and bringing down a trophy Sheep vs the pain I would endure, overall it was worth it. Besides I might get lucky with the ex, even if i couldn't bring down a monster stone sheep.
So back to the story....we had been hiking for three days since we had departed from the jet boat, i had barely eaten anything for the last days since i had prioritized the Wisers over the dehydrated mountain house meals. We still had another day of hiking ahead of us....the hardest of the four days. I looked up westward to one of the southern most mountains, the sun was slowly creeping its way out of sight. I then turned to look down hill and then realized that Allison had caught up to me, without a word she took the lead and said lets pitch a tent here....I didn't argue!
Taking a quick sip from my flask I turned to follow her centering my focus on that fine piece, and I'm not talking about her browning titanium mountain rifle.
We had seen Grizzly sign on the way in, and thinking back to rattlers story, I wasn't about to go into our tent without a loaded gun, I was cocked and locked. I didn't sleep very much that night, but at least we didn't encounter any bears.
Next morning with a squal moving in, I was yet again nursing a mad hangover, nothing that a shot or two wouldn't cure; thinking back to my days playing ball and the miracles I had some how pulled off. I knew I was all right. Besides if it worked for that deadbeat Mickey Mantle it would damn well work for me. So on we trudged up the mountain in the dark of pre-dawn. We were just about to arrive in our honey hole. Would our monster be there? My ex swore that she had talked with the GO in the area and he hadn't made it into this valley yet this year and wasn't going to head in as it was the end of sheep season and the conditions were nearly impassable.
As we peered into the hanging valley all I could see was white, we might had camped out here for a few days to let the weather clear, but our time was pressed as this was the last day of sheep season. And I wasn't about to let a little bit of snow get between me and ol'curly. We pressed on, into the blizzard with my camp on my back. Right then a thought crossed my mind to give up and go home. But I am sheep hunter, and the only way I am going to give up is to die a slow frozen death, or be lured into the tent by a devilish looking she wolf. Thoughts of star wars 1 crossed my mind and I thought of warming my hands like skywalker did in the belly of a monster snow caped stone sheep.
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I saw movement. From there I couldnt even describe the excitement I felt, only a very few could know, let alone describe what happened next...the orgasmic yet terrifyingly confusing moments in your life when you know that you know that your next shot will define the fact that thus far you have been to cheap to taxedermy previous animals and now you damn will have to if this big boy goes down. There was a lot of firsts that day.... one I had started to respect my ex that day because not a lot of girls would have trekked that far to let me shoot first on a Ram....let alone let me have relations with her, after her younger Sister had taken advantage of me at a party.
I got into position, thoughts swirling in my head, as they always do before you make a big kill. Is my rifle still accurate? Are my handloads gonna fire as built? Will the wind or an upward angle affect my shot, and by how much?? I went down into prone position, took half a breath in, my tongue touched and slid along the lower part of my mouth (i was focused) as i eased the trigger back. A tenth of a second went by as the Ram heard me breathe out, as I realized the safety was still on...(too bad i hadn't thought about safety when I rammed my ex. But unlike my Ex I was worried about this Ram getting away...this was a horny beast)
Switching the safety off, I put 2 pounds of pressure on my two and a half pound trigger. By this time the Ram had sensed our presence. I knew i had only one shot, as the Ram was heading over a ridge. The thirty calibre bullet smacked the Ram broadside 220 yards away. The Ram shuddered and made to take off, its feet were moving but the beast was stunned. I cocked the lever action back again and fired a second shot, my 30/30 smacked against my muscular shoulder sending a jolt through my entire torso. The shot was true...the beast gave one last jolt of movement, then fell to the ground, horns down into the rocky slide.
Total calm took over me, and I started to shake as the realization came over me of what i did. I had fallen a book ram. I quickly ran towards the fallen beast, Allison falling in close behind. As we pulled up to the sheep I knew this was a big one. I pulled out my measuring tape and measured the horns on the beast they came in at 44 inches each. Good thing i had a measuring tape cause what happened next was a nightmare. As we sat in the clearing I sensed more movement, but unlike the sheep when i had shot it, this was not 20 yards off. Fear hit me like a moving wall of pure adrenaline...instinctually I yelled to Allison "Grizzly!" The giant beast stood close to 8 foot tall, giving an if described giant earth shatterring roar. It headed straight for the downed sheep...I fumbled for my Camera, knowing Alison had the bear in her sights...I needed a picture of this trophy Ram, turned the power on, and snapped one shot. Then the power light flashed, batteries were dead, I had left it on while taking intoxicated pictures the night before in my tent.
Suddenly the bear turned towards our direction, we started to run, tripping over a stone the camera flew out of my hands. I watched as the camera tumbled through the air landing on a jagged piece of cliff, camera parts flying through the frozen chilled air. We both ran as hard and as fast as we could, furiously making our descent.
With a severe storm front moving in, we couldn't go back up for our packs, or for the gigantic curls the bear was standing over. With nothing left to our selves but our witts and my flask of whiskey we headed back down to the boat and to warmer temperatures.
Some where on the mountain my friends lays a half eaten sheep, a full bellied bear and a broke ass camera with a memory card with a picture of an epic sheep, and multiple pictures of my naughty self getting jiggy with my ex. If those pictures ever get out, if anyone on here should ever find a pentax digital camera in the mountains, please feel free to email those shots back to me. You can keep the pictures of the sheep.
TWSH

*****!!

You are the Peter Capstick of sheep hunting raconteurs. http://www.huntingbc.ca/forum/images/icons/icon14.gif

[Gateholio]

Awesome story!:-D

Next time try paragraphs, is my only criticism. :tongue:

[huntcoop]

Thats why you should have kept this one to yourself. This story wreaks of BS. This is a hunting site....no one wants to hear your wildest fantasies and dreams about you and your exs sister.

HAHAHA, seriously?

[treeclimber]

Great Story! 5 stars from me 2

[hillclimber]

i give your story a 10/10. whether its bullshit or not it made me laugh. may there be many more to come. don't let the critisism get to you, where ever you go there will be some assholes trying to ruin your day.

cheers
stefan

[Caveman]

I honestly didn't read the whole thing, for several reasons. Firstly because some of the responses, secondly for the Wisers, thirdly for the 220 yd shot through the open sights of a 30:30. Hell of a shot!! from a 30:30. But what got me going was the "Romance Novel" feel the story gave me. I was waiting for Fabio to come strolling over the ridge with his hair blowing in the wind. You could take up writing, you do have a talent for it, but your story starts to feel embelished early. Pictures would go a long way.

[tomahawk]

Good read, full of fun and well written!!

[Dutch Ppoacher]

Well there goes my joke I had for my first post.Guess I'll keep working on it.



ha ha ha ha, love iT, your in!!!

[GoatGuy]

I like this guy - he's a keeper for sure.

[mad_mallard]

Great entertainment with an outdoor theme mixed with a slightly backwoods twist,complemented by a touch of Jerry Springer.
Thouroughly enjoyed the read hope you post again soon.Keep up the good work.
By the way what was Allisons sisters name anyhow?:wink:

[blackbart]

Good job on the story. I would really like to see the pictures of your adventures. Sounds to me like you have the horn market figured out!

Some folks on this site don't believe in Santa either, god help you if you dare post about shooting Rodolph.

[835]

Im sorry that was great! Well written I liked it.
i dont believe it 30-30 220yd handload and all. but the storie had me.
i hope you go back for your camera!

[Kudu]

The air was crisp that morning, my bella clava covering most of my frozen face, I forced my self further up the hill, my 30/30 open sights rifle securely strapped over my right shoulder. The only warmth in my body was the Wisers Deluxe whiskey, slowly saturating into my already alcohol enriched blood stream.
About two weeks back my ex Allison, told me there was some massive sheep in an area she liked to call "Hog Haven". I was a bit skeptical because of my previous experiences sheep hunting and the excruciatingly hard terrain that i had faced before....legs of jello, and and a hangover that would bring down a large rutting bull Moose down to its knees. But, I thought it over and bringing down a trophy Sheep vs the pain I would endure, overall it was worth it. Besides I might get lucky with the ex, even if i couldn't bring down a monster stone sheep.
So back to the story....we had been hiking for three days since we had departed from the jet boat, i had barely eaten anything for the last days since i had prioritized the Wisers over the dehydrated mountain house meals. We still had another day of hiking ahead of us....the hardest of the four days. I looked up westward to one of the southern most mountains, the sun was slowly creeping its way out of sight. I then turned to look down hill and then realized that Allison had caught up to me, without a word she took the lead and said lets pitch a tent here....I didn't argue!
Taking a quick sip from my flask I turned to follow her centering my focus on that fine piece, and I'm not talking about her browning titanium mountain rifle.
We had seen Grizzly sign on the way in, and thinking back to rattlers story, I wasn't about to go into our tent without a loaded gun, I was cocked and locked. I didn't sleep very much that night, but at least we didn't encounter any bears.
Next morning with a squal moving in, I was yet again nursing a mad hangover, nothing that a shot or two wouldn't cure; thinking back to my days playing ball and the miracles I had some how pulled off. I knew I was all right. Besides if it worked for that deadbeat Mickey Mantle it would damn well work for me. So on we trudged up the mountain in the dark of pre-dawn. We were just about to arrive in our honey hole. Would our monster be there? My ex swore that she had talked with the GO in the area and he hadn't made it into this valley yet this year and wasn't going to head in as it was the end of sheep season and the conditions were nearly impassable.
As we peered into the hanging valley all I could see was white, we might had camped out here for a few days to let the weather clear, but our time was pressed as this was the last day of sheep season. And I wasn't about to let a little bit of snow get between me and ol'curly. We pressed on, into the blizzard with my camp on my back. Right then a thought crossed my mind to give up and go home. But I am sheep hunter, and the only way I am going to give up is to die a slow frozen death, or be lured into the tent by a devilish looking she wolf. Thoughts of star wars 1 crossed my mind and I thought of warming my hands like skywalker did in the belly of a monster snow caped stone sheep.
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I saw movement. From there I couldnt even describe the excitement I felt, only a very few could know, let alone describe what happened next...the orgasmic yet terrifyingly confusing moments in your life when you know that you know that your next shot will define the fact that thus far you have been to cheap to taxedermy previous animals and now you damn will have to if this big boy goes down. There was a lot of firsts that day.... one I had started to respect my ex that day because not a lot of girls would have trekked that far to let me shoot first on a Ram....let alone let me have relations with her, after her younger Sister had taken advantage of me at a party.
I got into position, thoughts swirling in my head, as they always do before you make a big kill. Is my rifle still accurate? Are my handloads gonna fire as built? Will the wind or an upward angle affect my shot, and by how much?? I went down into prone position, took half a breath in, my tongue touched and slid along the lower part of my mouth (i was focused) as i eased the trigger back. A tenth of a second went by as the Ram heard me breathe out, as I realized the safety was still on...(too bad i hadn't thought about safety when I rammed my ex. But unlike my Ex I was worried about this Ram getting away...this was a horny beast)
Switching the safety off, I put 2 pounds of pressure on my two and a half pound trigger. By this time the Ram had sensed our presence. I knew i had only one shot, as the Ram was heading over a ridge. The thirty calibre bullet smacked the Ram broadside 220 yards away. The Ram shuddered and made to take off, its feet were moving but the beast was stunned. I cocked the lever action back again and fired a second shot, my 30/30 smacked against my muscular shoulder sending a jolt through my entire torso. The shot was true...the beast gave one last jolt of movement, then fell to the ground, horns down into the rocky slide.
Total calm took over me, and I started to shake as the realization came over me of what i did. I had fallen a book ram. I quickly ran towards the fallen beast, Allison falling in close behind. As we pulled up to the sheep I knew this was a big one. I pulled out my measuring tape and measured the horns on the beast they came in at 44 inches each. Good thing i had a measuring tape cause what happened next was a nightmare. As we sat in the clearing I sensed more movement, but unlike the sheep when i had shot it, this was not 20 yards off. Fear hit me like a moving wall of pure adrenaline...instinctually I yelled to Allison "Grizzly!" The giant beast stood close to 8 foot tall, giving an if described giant earth shatterring roar. It headed straight for the downed sheep...I fumbled for my Camera, knowing Alison had the bear in her sights...I needed a picture of this trophy Ram, turned the power on, and snapped one shot. Then the power light flashed, batteries were dead, I had left it on while taking intoxicated pictures the night before in my tent.
Suddenly the bear turned towards our direction, we started to run, tripping over a stone the camera flew out of my hands. I watched as the camera tumbled through the air landing on a jagged piece of cliff, camera parts flying through the frozen chilled air. We both ran as hard and as fast as we could, furiously making our descent.
With a severe storm front moving in, we couldn't go back up for our packs, or for the gigantic curls the bear was standing over. With nothing left to our selves but our witts and my flask of whiskey we headed back down to the boat and to warmer temperatures.
Some where on the mountain my friends lays a half eaten sheep, a full bellied bear and a broke ass camera with a memory card with a picture of an epic sheep, and multiple pictures of my naughty self getting jiggy with my ex. If those pictures ever get out, if anyone on here should ever find a pentax digital camera in the mountains, please feel free to email those shots back to me. You can keep the pictures of the sheep.
TWSH


http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y260/Gogga2/000202BD.gif


Good write, Great read - the off season is a long - long one , keep us entertained - well done that man.

[Kody94]

I honestly didn't read the whole thing, for several reasons. Firstly because some of the responses, secondly for the Wisers, thirdly for the 220 yd shot through the open sights of a 30:30. Hell of a shot!! from a 30:30. But what got me going was the "Romance Novel" feel the story gave me. I was waiting for Fabio to come strolling over the ridge with his hair blowing in the wind. You could take up writing, you do have a talent for it, but your story starts to feel embelished early. Pictures would go a long way.


Im sorry that was great! Well written I liked it.
i dont believe it 30-30 220yd handload and all. but the storie had me.
i hope you go back for your camera!

I am not sure why some folks are looking for "facts" in what is clearly a well spun, and very entertaining yarn. :) Although I am guilty of noticing too many "goofs, factual errors and inconsistencies" in movies, TV and books...I don't let it get in the way of enjoying it.

This short tale of TWSH's has a little of almost everything....drama, a love angle, mystery, action...all well spiced with some sarcasm, wit, and "hit-you-over the head with a M94 Winchester", capital S, Satire.

I am looking forward to the next adventure of TWSH...and Allison too. :)

Marc might want to start negotiating for the movie rights. :p

[bforce750]

Have you guys ever watched the "EPIC" movie,sort of the same story line hahahA!!!!!! :biggrin:

[BiG Boar]

You want to go for a hunt some time TWSH? Sounds like you know how to make a trip out of it!

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

You want to go for a hunt some time TWSH? Sounds like you know how to make a trip out of it!

You betcha bigbore!!!

[bushguy]

hahahahah fkin awesome!

[BlacktailStalker]

Now lets see a pic of Allison.

[Ambush]

I betcha Allison looks like one of those oiled and chiseled, gun-slinging "she-males" from a jungle war comic book. A man like you would have nothing else!!

[BCBear]

Walkingslaughterhouse what the hell is going on in your avatar by the way

[338]

Walkingslaughterhouse what the hell is going on in your avatar by the way


bird took a poop on his head.....he just hasn't wiped it yet

[d6dan]

bird took a poop on his head.....he just hasn't wiped it yet


I'll make some more popcorn:lol:

[338]

I betcha Allison looks like one of those oiled and chiseled, gun-slinging "she-males" from a jungle war comic book. A man like you would have nothing else!!


Or probably doesn't exist at all.

[troutseeker]

Oh thats good...thats really funny....and witty too, at first i didnt get it, and then I realized that you used my initials and then changed them around....thats gold. One second i just gotta grab my journal, so I can write that down in it. So later tonight when I read it I can have a laugh later. It will say " Today troutseeker made a very funny joke, and he used humour to divert the fact that I am ten times the sheep hunter that he will ever be, and he probably is very jealous of me because i slayed a magnificent stone sheep, and he is very angry because the closest he will ever get to a sheep of that magnituted will be through the written real life adventures of
The Walking Slaughter House

Oh, I am chagrined, I expect more... I hope you had a good laugh late at night. You are correct, you are at the very least ten times the stoned sheep hunter I am.

[Will]

Oh, I am chagrined, I expect more... I hope you had a good laugh late at night. You are correct, you are at the very least ten times the stoned sheep hunter I am.
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[troutseeker]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Yeah, I know, it's even biblical!:-D

[gibblewabble]

Good job on the story. I would really like to see the pictures of your adventures. Sounds to me like you have the horn market figured out!

Some folks on this site don't believe in Santa either, god help you if you dare post about shooting Rodolph.
Mmmmmmmmm Rudolph would taste good with a glass of rum and eggnog. I really enjoyed the story though, reminded me of hunting camps when I was a teen hunting with my grandfather and uncle, well other than the sex.

[The Hermit]

LOL I enjoyed the story and hell I've even enjoyed the comments!!! People with no sense of humor are funny! Think I'll go pour another Wisers!!

[Bowtime]

I don't know TWSH. This is a story that is a tough one to believe.
You claim to be 10 times the sheep hunter than troutseeker. Yet you go hunting sheep with an open sighted 30-30? Not my weapon of choice for sure. and you had your girlfriend tell you about this spot? you don't sound like a sheep hunter at all!! I call BS on this story.

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

bird took a poop on his head.....he just hasn't wiped it yet

First you rip my epic tale....then you call me a poopy head? Im gonna take your mom out for a nice seafood dinner and then never call her again! Better yet Im gonna write another epic real life tale of the glorious adventures of
The Walking Slaughter House.

[Tenacious Billy]

First you rip my epic tale....then you call me a poopy head? Im gonna take your mom out for a nice seafood dinner and then never call her again! Better yet Im gonna write another epic real life tale of the glorious adventures of
The Walking Slaughter House.

Hahahaha! Anchorman!!! That's a classic!

[338]

First you rip my epic tale....then you call me a poopy head? Im gonna take your mom out for a nice seafood dinner and then never call her again! Better yet Im gonna write another epic real life tale of the glorious adventures of
The Walking Slaughter House.

May I ask why you would drag my mom into this? Can't you see that no one buys the whole sheep story. Isn't it about time you humbled up and accepted the fact that TheTalkingLaughterMouse has lost total credibility on this site. No one can honestly believe your story. Have you read what others have posted on the two threads you started? Open your eyes.

[Hank Hunter]

LOL I enjoyed the story and hell I've even enjoyed the comments!!! People with no sense of humor are funny! Think I'll go pour another Wisers!!

x2 the ones with no sense of humour are the funniest

[338]

Thoughts of star wars 1 crossed my mind and I thought of warming my hands like skywalker did in the belly of a monster snow caped stone sheep.
TWSH


It was Stars Wars 5, and it was Han Solo that warmed his hands in the belly of that Taun-Taun. OMG you would think you would try and get the story right if you want people to believe it.

[Hank Hunter]

yup, just keeps getting better

[Jimr]

i went for a hike after drinking a bottle of wisers with my girlfriends sister that i wishh i used protection with and i found a camera that had this picture on it...:confused::confused::confused::confused:http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs042.snc3/12935_231432721348_508891348_4214176_5352609_n.jpg

[Jimr]

I...is Not even lying ...if iam lying iam Not

[Dannybuoy]

i went for a hike after drinking a bottle of wisers with my girlfriends sister that i wishh i used protection with and i found a camera that had this picture on it...:confused::confused::confused::confused:http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs042.snc3/12935_231432721348_508891348_4214176_5352609_n.jpg
Jimr saves the day !!:-D

[Jimr]

I kept the other pictures....the ones of your sister...

[Jimr]

http://brandingadvice.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/bsmeter.jpg

[BiG Boar]

I have never laughed so hard in my life in a long time. This is one of the best threads ever IMHO. I actually have tears in my eyes and was coughing until I convulsed onto the floor! Love the photos you found! BTW

[835]

First you rip my epic tale....then you call me a poopy head? Im gonna take your mom out for a nice seafood dinner and then never call her again! Better yet Im gonna write another epic real life tale of the glorious adventures of
The Walking Slaughter House.


that there sure sounds like RBF
but this thread sure is fun....kinda like alexander valley where there is the best hunting in bc

[boxhitch]

Good story, interesting style, new for this site
Hell of a hunt, wish I was there


Though it sounds like a pilot for an upcoming series.
Following episodes will answer and create questions about the choice of whisky, unprotected sex, extreme camping, rifle choices, weatherproof cameras, Bart the roaring bear, date rape ..........

[Elkhound]

too funny.

[338]

i went for a hike after drinking a bottle of wisers with my girlfriends sister that i wishh i used protection with and i found a camera that had this picture on it...:confused::confused::confused::confused:http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs042.snc3/12935_231432721348_508891348_4214176_5352609_n.jpg


I love it.

[RustyRipper]

good story man, very entertaining, but without some pics then thats all it is, a story. a bear ate my camera or whatever is a likely excuse. also you should really come up with some of your own comebacks because quoting anchorman (twice) is pretty lame, and downright lazy. other than that keep it coming, I enjoyed the story but I'm not taking it seriously.

[338]

good story man, very entertaining, but without some pics then thats all it is, a story. a bear ate my camera or whatever is a likely excuse. also you should really come up with some of your own comebacks because quoting anchorman (twice) is pretty lame, and downright lazy. other than that keep it coming, I enjoyed the story but I'm not taking it seriously.

So elegantly put. Good job.

[338]

I onlny drink wisers when I hunt sheep, i just thought I would share this adventure with you, now that I'm back. I am so sick of people always judging stories on here. This is why I havn't written anything on here. The reason I didn't write it soon was that this story was just so unbelievable.

PS: You would drink wisers too if you had to go hunting with your ex's

Some members are claiming, on your other thread, that you purposely wrote this story as a joke.

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

Some members are claiming, on your other thread, that you purposely wrote this story as a joke.
No I dont think they were reffering to my story

[GoatGuy]

No I dont think they were reffering to my story

That's quite the design on your head - is that part of your camo outfit?

[Hank Hunter]

Actually its a real good story

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

That's quite the design on your head - is that part of your camo outfit?

yes its called poopy head camo, makes me blend in with my surroundings, that day in particular i was hunting in a place me and buddy liked to call the "Bird Sanctuary"

[338]

Well what are they talking about? The whole 30-30 shot thing? I don't think the shot is impossible. The best I can do with open sights ~100yds. I'm sure with practise that number can go up. I just don't believe the story.

[GoatGuy]

yes its called poopy head camo, makes me blend in with my surroundings, that day in particular i was hunting in a place me and buddy liked to call the "Bird Sanctuary"

very nice.........

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

Well what are they talking about? The whole 30-30 shot thing? I don't think the shot is impossible. The best I can do with open sights ~100yds. I'm sure with practise that number can go up. I just don't believe the story.

My seven year old niece always said "practice makes perfect"

[Cariboospeed]

Sorry, stopped reading at, "30/30 open sights". I'd rather watch Harry Potter.

[Hank Hunter]

Way to go TWSH, you got both posts running at the top of the board for 24 hours now, got any more for the hat trick

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

Way to go TWSH, you got both posts running at the top of the board for 24 hours now, got any more for the hat trick

I would like to put a special thanks to 338 without his dedication for the last 24 hours none of this would have been possible!

[Hank Hunter]

Lets hear it for 338, almost 7500 views on these 2 posts

[The Hermit]

I would like to put a special thanks to 338 without his dedication for the last 24 hours none of this would have been possible!

:mrgreen: Hilarious!

[d6dan]

Lets hear it for 338, almost 7500 views on these 2 posts

HIp, Hip Hooray!!!:-D
Way to go 338..Yo dah man!!:mrgreen:
I got the popcorn happening:wink:..

[BiG Boar]

Wait a second....are you guys thinking that this whole story is some kind of a made up joke!? Sounds pretty real and all doable if you ask me. Can't wait to see the pictures when you find that camera! That will show them!

[338]

I would like to put a special thanks to 338 without his dedication for the last 24 hours none of this would have been possible!

Haha...its like watching some fall in public then telling evreyone he meant to do that....hilarious

[Gateholio]

I would like to put a special thanks to 338 without his dedication for the last 24 hours none of this would have been possible!

:mrgreen::mrgreen:

Well done, 338...

Hook, line and sinker:-D

[BiG Boar]

:mrgreen::mrgreen:

Well done, 338...

Hook, line and sinker:-D

I can't get enough of this stuff! Stop posting so I can leave my computer!

[Islandeer]

Same thing happened to me once in band camp. Except Allyson's sister saw us bear and rammin and acted like she wasn't any Wiser. :confused:

[Onesock]

Great hunting write up. This is the best!!!!

[bforce750]

Great hunting write up. This is the best!!!!
X2!!!! nothing like good old testosterone boosted folk tale

[Dragginbait]

TWSH, are you related to "Gordo" you both seem to have that knack for feeding it to the public.

Oh, Oh, Oh tell everyone about the time you got a 25/25 shooting trap with a .22 that's a good story.

[Kody94]

Oh, Oh, Oh tell everyone about the time you got a 25/25 shooting trap with a .22 that's a good story.

Pffft.. He did it with a COMPOUND BOW! See here....

http://videos.kansas.com/vmix_hosted_apps/p/media?id=4760667 (http://videos.kansas.com/vmix_hosted_apps/p/media?id=4760667)

[Jimr]

Youuu got a reallll Purdy Mouth Boy'

[338]

:mrgreen::mrgreen:

Well done, 338...

Hook, line and sinker:-D

The idea that this was some master plan to try and keep a thread on for awhile is about as believable as the story itself.

[Jimr]

So , can you lock it now?

[338]

Lets put an end to this TheWalkingSlaughterHouse. If you admit the sheep hunt story is all BS and was written to sucker someone into an immature shouting match then I will admit defeat. Or make another claim that the story is real and you did not plan on writing it with any sort of alterior motive. All these members are claiming that it is fiction and you just wrote it for fun. But you keep claiming its real.
Which is it?

[Hank Hunter]

can this thread be locked now

[Dragginbait]

Pffft.. He did it with a COMPOUND BOW! See here....

http://videos.kansas.com/vmix_hosted_apps/p/media?id=4760667 (http://videos.kansas.com/vmix_hosted_apps/p/media?id=4760667)

Thats impressive, even without the Wisers.

[BCBear]

338 and TWSH one in the same?

[GoatGuy]

Lets put an end to this TheWalkingSlaughterHouse. If you admit the sheep hunt story is all BS and was written to sucker someone into an immature shouting match then I will admit defeat. Or make another claim that the story is real and you did not plan on writing it with any sort of alterior motive. All these members are claiming that it is fiction and you just wrote it for fun. But you keep claiming its real.
Which is it?

I like it, let's keep it going.

[Dragginbait]

I like it, let's keep it going.

This thread must have some entertainment value or it wouldn't have 5300 views. It's like watching tv or rubbernecking a car accident "you just have to look".

[troutseeker]

I'm surprised Todbartel has not contributed to this thread yet, or maybe he has? ;-)

[sawmill]

338 and TWSH one in the same?
I think so.2 a$$holes living inside 1 head.

[pete_k]

I think a woman wrote it.
Maybe I'm reading too much between the lines.

[The Hermit]

The idea that this was some master plan to try and keep a thread on for awhile is about as believable as the story itself.

OMG I love this guy!! Lets send this thread to SNL, or the RCAirFarce, maybe RedGreen!

[CabinFever]

Here is yet another tale of "high" adventure! Enjoy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sb1Z_ypGaY

[Franko Manini]

I think this is second dumbest post I ever read.

[338]

I think a woman wrote it.
Maybe I'm reading too much between the lines.

I thought that too, but by judging the other posts by women on this forum, they are too reasonable to come up with such an outlandish story.

[BiG Boar]

I guess we will have to wait and see pictures. That one guy said he found the camera but that picture seemed photoshoped. I mean with the two of them in it, and a bicycle, who would have taken the picture, and who's bicycle is it? We will have to wait and see if he does find his camera. There is no question in my mind why the whole thing is not plausible though. Some how this turned into a "this is bull $hit!" thread, I thought us hunters had to stick together! Maybe he has other pictures of some hunts he has done?

[338]

I guess we will have to wait and see pictures. That one guy said he found the camera but that picture seemed photoshoped. I mean with the two of them in it, and a bicycle, who would have taken the picture, and who's bicycle is it? We will have to wait and see if he does find his camera. There is no question in my mind why the whole thing is not plausible though. Some how this turned into a "this is bull $hit!" thread, I thought us hunters had to stick together! Maybe he has other pictures of some hunts he has done?

I love that you used my quote in your signature. For whatever reason that may be.

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

I think a woman wrote it.
Maybe I'm reading too much between the lines.


I thought that too, but by judging the other posts by women on this forum, they are too reasonable to come up with such an outlandish story.

Are you speaking from first hand experience 338? Or did you hire a detective?

[338]

Are you speaking from first hand experience 338? Or did you hire a detective?

That doesn't make any sense.

Just so you know quite a few members have claimed that you purposely wrote a fake sheep hunt story to bait others into an argument. Well done, but you didn't fool me, I knew it was fake.

None the less, good for you man.

[elkster]

walkingslaughterhouse:
I too drink wisers, cause duh, it makes you wiser. at least for a few hours, then all you have to do, is drink some more and you are wiser again. I have been doing this for years and have gotten two degrees because of it. I have a masters in b.s. and a bachelor of basket weaving. both these come in handy in lots of pubs in the north country. also I'm sure my eye sight has improved, cause lots of times I can make my eyes see double of whatever I'm looking at. If you add a little fireball to the wisers, you become a hot debater and are able to out talk anyone.

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

That doesn't make any sense.

Just so you know quite a few members have claimed that you purposely wrote a fake sheep hunt story to bait others into an argument. Well done, but you didn't fool me, I knew it was fake.

None the less, good for you man.

You are a worthy adversary.....I would just as well try to go on a epic hunt without my wisers deluxe limited edition custom engraved whiskey flask, than try to pull one over you! Just for the record...it was actually a 260 yard shot, and the wind was howling.....I just didnt want to seem like i was bragging about how good of a shot I am!

[338]

You are a worthy adversary.....I would just as well try to go on a epic hunt without my wisers deluxe limited edition custom engraved whiskey flask, than try to pull one over you! Just for the record...it was actually a 260 yard shot, and the wind was howling.....I just didnt want to seem like i was bragging about how good of a shot I am!

ha ha ha....good stuff man. Keep the phoney baloney coming. We need your fairytales to get us through the off season.

cheers

P.S. Can I put in a request for a moose hunt story?

[huntcoop]

.....Can I put in a request for a moose hunt story?

I think a "cougar" hunt would be waaaaaay more entertaining.

[338]

I think a "cougar" hunt would be waaaaaay more entertaining.

Have you read his sheep story? I'd like to hear one of his grouse hunting tales.

[Jelvis]

Do you listen to Slayer or Slaughter lol ...TheWalkingSlawtourHouse

[digger dogger]

Best thread EVER!

[uraarchr]

Epic tale man.Well put together.You could easily write for some magazine;they'd prob censor some of it
though.A Tale of a Tail.Reminds me of those old OutdoorLife Mag stories.They probably just edited and censored those a little.more!

[lorneparker1]

Oh thats good...thats really funny....and witty too, at first i didnt get it, and then I realized that you used my initials and then changed them around....thats gold. One second i just gotta grab my journal, so I can write that down in it. So later tonight when I read it I can have a laugh later. It will say " Today troutseeker made a very funny joke, and he used humour to divert the fact that I am ten times the sheep hunter that he will ever be, and he probably is very jealous of me because i slayed a magnificent stone sheep, and he is very angry because the closest he will ever get to a sheep of that magnituted will be through the written real life adventures of
The Walking Slaughter House
bwahahahahhaha

[Bc Deer Hunter]

Great write up Slaughter house :D Gave me some chuckles:lol:

[835]

What ever happened to TWSH?
i know he was a second identity to someone

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

I think this is second dumbest post I ever read.

Wow Im impressed!! So you actually do read your own posts! Congragulations Number 1

[835]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dude, out of the blue.... You just get out of rehab? :) JK

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

Just been laying low......Woke up this morning and realized it was 1212! I have been on many high adventures since my Epic stone sheep hunt!.....However I have not found the courage to speak of them!...due to my negative response!! However I have been compiling my numerous hunting diaries and I will be letting every one in to the (Chronicles of the Walking Slaughter House) [The Chapters of a hunting Icon] and also a short story I call! (I saw it first) A Look through the barrel of a 30/30 open sight rifle in the hands of a Master!!!

[835]

Really from the bottom of my hunting soul, i am truely looking foreward to it!
30-30, Whiskey and the old ladies.........

This story was great.

[TheWalkingSlaughterHouse]

*2012 !!!

[Dutch Ppoacher]

popcorn.... check. beer ...check... ok

[lorneparker1]

Great hunt!

[BiG Boar]

Did you ever go back and find the Camera Slaughter house?

[lip_ripper00]

Hahahahahahahahahahaa.......going for a fresh beer....

[835]

This is one of HBC's Classics! i saved a link to it in my favorites.... lol...

[sky-gunner]

Im glad someone dug this up, classic and hilarious

[warnniklz]

This is like 50 Shades Of Gray for hunters.... I need a shower...

[ruger#1]

Damn good story. I wish there was more.

[fuzzybiscuit]

I seem to remember one about Cougar hunting that TWSH did also.

[Busterpayton54]

One of the most entertaining short stories I've read. It really put me right there as if it was my story. Real or not, it's damn funny. the best part of all, it's its entirely possible, and if it were indeed the case a guy could only wish to have such an epic tale to tell, on the other hand if it is fictional, the creative writing abilities of this man deserve recognition.
While I admit I'm swayed to believe it's fiction, I truly hope somebody was gifted with the experience, this story of all campfire stories tells.

[digger dogger]

Someone was asking about TWSH thread.
Always good for a laugh.
People actually got banned from this thread. :-)
One of my favourite stories on hbc.

[decker9]

Holy hell hahaha, how did I miss this all these years, this needs published in a book somewhere, priceless!! Some great story tellin skills here, along with other, skills, haha!

[835]

ultra Epic!

[Linksman313]

Great story, what an epic, and with the ex!! Really well written and enjoyable, hope you get that mem card and your packs back someday.