Hunting stories that made you laugh your ass off II

[frenchbar]

With all the new members ,theres gotta be some humoruous stories for us to hear .fire away .

[bad arrow]

I was just thinking about this, me and another hunter were on a tree stand in the interior of BC ( whitetail hunting ) and another hunter came around and had a crap about 50 ft from our stand, then walked right under our stand, he didn't even see us, he didn't hear us laughing either. It was just too funny.

[dana]

This one year at band camp, err I mean Muley Camp, I burned down the walltent. Burned er down good. Had to go to the hospital for treatment of my 2nd degree burns, but man was it comical. I wouldn't let the doctor bandage up my trigger finger.

[Glenny]

I was just thinking about this, me and another hunter were on a tree stand in the interior of BC ( whitetail hunting ) and another hunter came around and had a crap about 50 ft from our stand, then walked right under our stand, he didn't even see us, he didn't hear us laughing either. It was just too funny.

OMG. How the H could you not be laughing so loud and him not hearing you?. I haven't stopped laughing at this one for 10 minutes now. No Lie. A real belly laugh. I am in tears. G :lol::lol::lol::lol:

[H Wally]

More just an ironic story, but a few years ago came across two completely decked out bear hunters on atv's. They had a spotting scope that could probably pick out some of the farther planets.

Anyways, they were going nuts looking for bears in their special spot and hadn't seen so much as a fresh bear poo.

We continued on, parked at a park boundary to start our hike. We walked along the boundary for a good 45 minutes and must have seen at least 8 good sized bears, either crossing the road into the park, or heading further in, all at high speed. Seemed like they knew where to be:razz:

[elkdom]

out hunting elk a couple of years ago, early sept, hear a sad sounding bugle, I respond with sad sounding bugle reply, again I hear a sick sounding bugle,only its closer, this goes on for about 20 minutes,now the bugle is very close , I sit still, hidden in some willows,again a real bad sounding bugle challenges me, I turn my self away,hold bugle under my coat,make shallow ,AWFULL sounding bugle, I get instant response, EEEowwwOONK! now I can see the GUY! he is cammoed up, clothes ,face paint, he is wearing so much elk piss scent! now my eyes are watering! some from the elk pee scent, some from holding back the tears of laughter, he sneaks nearer,he's about 10 feet from me now, he is looking around, his back is towards me, he has a bow in one hand, his elk bugle in his other hand! he lifts his bugle and one more time EEEowwoonk! I jump up and yell! as loud as I can shout! "I GOT CHA!!" the guy jumps about 4 feet of the ground, his bugle goes one way, his bow goes the other way, his eyes are bugged out and his face is white! He starts to laugh and I am loosing my breath from laughing, when we finish yahoo-ing he says! I thot you were a elk ??? man what a day! lmao

[Ddog]

i have a good one,,,

this happened to someone i know but wont name to protect the foolish.
it was in region 8 late season archery hunt for whitetails, we were all seeing some good bucks and the stories back at camp were good ones on how a friend couldnt draw his bow cause he was to nervous when a little 2 point came in to his 20 yard tree, after several attempts he finally gave up and watched the deer for another 5 minutes as it fed slowly away from him out of sight, 20 minutes later a doe came to the same spot, he drew back, and tagged his doe as easy as pie. yes that is some serious buck fever, he still hasnt lived that one down. but thats not the real funny one.
the real funny one was when the big trophy 160 class buck that me and a couple of my friends were after finally came to within bow range of my friends stand, as he watched this monster coming down his trail he was as cool as a cucumber, all relaxed, watching its every step and breathing slowly and consistently , picking his spot for his arrow to go when he reaches the 20 yard opening. here he comes ,, here he comes, 2 more steps 1 more step he draws back ,,last step and a little grunt stops the buck dead in his tracks, slowly he takes aim and sinks the pin just behind the shoulder, got him he is thinking, hits his trigger and WHAM,, the string hooks his glasses and sends them flying towards the buck , only they drift to the right and SMASH they hit a tree and explode and the big buck is gone and has been for a while now. where his arrow went is unknown to this day but it was heard going through the trees way off to his left he said.
i still laugh at this every-time i think of it.

[Gateholio]

It was spring a few years ago...And I was hunting black bears...

The first time I saw this MONSTER bear was when I was driving along this goat trail type of road alongside of a canyon. It was steep on both sides.

I drove along, and there he was!! As soon as he saw me, he was gone!!

There was no other approach to this area except along the road, so I tired a few times, to drive close, get out, and stalk. Nope, he never gave me a shot, always jumping up or down and disappearing...

SO finally, I parked well up the road, and crept forward...I Sneaked a peek around a corner, a few klicks away... There was Mr Bear.

I got down and started sneaking towards him...Mt Bear was still there....The wind was swirling, but mostly in my favour.

I got down and basically belly crawled the last 100 yards, to get a decent shot, through the brush and crap.

I crept closer and closer, and I was bringing the .375 H&H to bear (literally) when the wind swirled again, and he caught my scent and charged up into the high brush! Damn!!

I crept a bit forwards, and all of a sudden, i could see him- Facing me!

I squeezed the trigger, sending the 300gr Nosler Partition away @ 25550 fps...

When I recovered form the recoil, I thought "I missed!!" He was nowhere to be seen..I decided to limb the hill and look for a blood trail, took a few steps up the hill and saw something black in the brush...SO I approached cautiously to find my trophy...A small 4.5 ft bear!:shock:

I had shot the wrong bear!!

I looked up, and there was Mr Big, looking down at me from behind a christmas tree. I wanted to shoot, but I had only one tag!

he ambled away safely, and I never saw him again!:tongue:

[hunter1947]

I forgot my bullets in the truck last year.
I got about 2kl from my truck and saw a buck I went to grab the bullet out of my bullet case and it was not on my belt :redface:.

I had to walk all the way back to the truck and the deer walked away :redface:.
Quit often I don't load my gun up for safety reasons when in a rugged area ,this time I was in a rugged area when it happened to me ,other then that if I was in a easy area to walk I would have loaded up my rifle when I got out of the truck and noticed I did not have my bullets.

[lchernoff]

My dad and a friend had gone out deer hunting early one morning in region 8 last year and just into the road hunt as that is what he does "he is 68 and showing his age" they see a buck on the hill. His friend and him get out as quick as they can and his friend fires a shot off, "You missed my dad says" BOOM! his friend shoots again, Son of a bitch he says I missed you shoot it. So my dad raises his 270 and fires away, another miss? so my dads friend tells him to get his rifle on his mirrior and take good aim. Just as my dad is about to fire he hears,"thats enough shoots fellas.

The worst part is it was 4 point mule season and the buck was a 2X3, my dad claims he new it was a dumby deer, and my dads friend in a panic told the CO he thought it was a 2X3 whitetail, and had no tag. Oh the fines! I'm not sure if he will ever live this one down.

[frenchbar]

In the late 80’s my dad, uncle and myself were starting out on an elk hunt. The 3 of us always wore wool hunting pants that were complimented with bright orange husqvarna suspenders.
We drive to the spot where we are going to start our hike and we get out of the truck.
Now I am not sure if you have ever hunted with anyone that the minute the truck stops for a hunt they grab for the arse wipe because it is morning dump time. Well my dad and my uncle are both like that.
Anyway dad and uncle head into the bush to do their business and arrive back at the truck a few minutes later.
We get our gear together and the whole time I can smell crap and I am thinking one of these guys didn’t make it to the snortin pole in time but was afraid to say anything lol.
All of a sudden my uncle says to my dad….”Geezuz Jim did ya crap yourself or what????”
As my uncle says this he has his back to me and I start laughing uncontrollably. Apparently when my uncle was doing his thing in the bushes he was carrying his elk whistle in his rear pocket of his wool pants.
Well you guessed it…..he forgot the whistle was there and while doing his thing he crapped on his whistle. When he was done he pulled his pants up, the whistle full of crap smacked into his back with the rising of the wool pants and then the suspenders held everything nicely in place. I almost puked but was laughing too hard.
That elk whistle was never used again and needless to say I really hope no hunter found it in region 4 after my uncle fired it into the bush lol.:shock:ha.ha.ha!!good one.

[bushpig slayer]

a few years ago i was bow hunting deer,nothing moving .finally i hear a noise from the left side it's a doe and spike coming up the bank.once they get to the top they stop they know something isn't right.i hear a noise from the right side now and wait,a huge 2 point throw back comes out and sees the other 2 standing there.they are about 15 ft from each other and the spike has boned me now.i pull back on the big 2 just as i let er fly the stupid spike takes off towards the 2 point running on the inside of us and takes the arrow for his buddy man i was pissed.oh well he was great eating but also 50lbs less.the area is now called suicide hill.

[cmc destroyer]

A few years ago my partner and I went out for bear.
As we drove down a fairly steep road through a large cut block we saw a huge cinnamon about 200 yards away walking through the block on the passenger side of the truck.
I slammed on the brakes and we jumped out, and left the doors wide open.
I was aiming over the rear of my truck box and my buddy was on the passenger side aiming at the bear too.
I noticed a movement beneath me and when I looked down, the truck was gone.

In my excitment I had left it in drive on a hill.

So we were both on a dead run aftrer it. I caught it first and did the one legged hop to try to reach the brake.
I finally was able to slam on the brake and all I heard was the pitter patter of my partner still on a dead run as he SLAMMED into the passenger door.
It crumpled him and he almost tore the door off the hinges.

.......the bear walked away.

[308Lover]

After too many pops around the fire, my buddies and I were fed up with a loudmouth who bragged about his long shots (big magnum man). We got a can and put in some water--my buddy poured in a handful of salt. Just before bedtime we all stood up and stretched. One-by-one we each dropped a shell into the can. WTF? says the guy. What's that for? Well, we do this because sometimes the elk are so far away when we shoot there's a chance the meat could spoil before we can get to it. The salt preserves it.
While he stood open-mouthed, we rolled on the ground laughing and gagging. Even during the night someone would start to laugh and we'd all choke in our sleeping bags--sooooo NO MORE BRAGGING PROBLEM!

[Johnny G1]

[quote=Gatehouse;366115]It was spring a few years ago...And I was hunting black bears...


I squeezed the trigger, sending the 300gr Nosler Partition away @ 25550 fps...

When I recovered form the recoil, Quote, that sure one fast Bullet????

[guest]

Ok my turn, here goes.
Years ago hunting up the Alaska Hwy for Moose, Elk and Bear. I'm slowly poking along this gas line when it comes to a T intersection. Just down from the T, I spot a nice Black Bear. I watch it for 10 min. or so to make sure it's a la single and not a sow with a cub or two. It's by it's self so bang! the .308 goes and down goes the bear, no movement, nothing. It's my first Black so I just stand there for a good 10 min. or so. Still no movement, as I get with-in 25 yards or so I start lobbing sticks and the odd rock on this thing, still no movement. I creep in, poke it with the loaded gun, and nothing, it's expired. Cool, I got my first Bear, I unload and lean the rifle against some alders on the back side of Yogi and kneel at it's gut, he's got a great coat, I then take one of my hands and from the neck I stroke the hide through the belly area ....... and the bear lets out this gaseous release of air from deep with-in sounding something like a growl ..... I jump back and let out a yell leaving my gun against the shrubs and reaching for my knife on my belt. The bear remains motionless and I feel like a complete fool. Scared the livin crap out of me!!!
Too funny, I'll never leave my gun like that again, lesson learned even though he was long gone !
CT

[cmc destroyer]

Hahahha that is funny Curly Top,, I would have crapped my shorts for sure lol

[Flingin' Sticks]

got a couple of road hunting mis-adventures that I must confess to....

First one was out on a drive for a nice spring blackie. We had done a good bit of driving, some glassing, some walking, you name it, we did it. Anyways, we were heading back to the main road when I come around this corner and there stands a great big colour phase. of course I'm excited, but I still managed to learn something from this....slamming an automatic into park at 30 clicks IS NOT a good idea. Bear took off and I left a really nice skid on the logging road.

The next one is better, mostly because it wasn't my truck. Buddy and I headed out chasing moose around PG last fall, and sure enough, we spot a forkhorn standing about 350 yrds out in a cut block. He's driving so he gets first shot. He misses, so then I feel free to try my hand. Miss the first shot then get the bright idea to shoot across his dry box and see what I can do. What I failed to take into account was the fact that the moose was quite a ways downhill. BOOM goes the 270 and away runs the moose. It was at about this point that my buddy noticed the 4 inch scar across the far side of his dimond plate dry box. I still haven't heard the end of that one. Really quite dangerous, but funny since it turned out good.

[huntwriter]

I went bowhunting a few years ago in an area where I had several treestands set up. Arrived at the first stand just before daylight broke, climbed up to the stand attached the safety harness to the tree and then detached the arrow quiver from the bow, as I always do, and hanged it on the tree trunk.

By nine o clock I only had seen one small doe and decided to move on to another stand located near a bedding area that always produced well. Arriving at that stand location I realized that I left the arrow quiver in the first stand. So down I climbed again to retrieve my arrows from the first stand. I was about half way down the tree when I heard a sound in the thicket. I froze mid movement and leaned as close to the tree trunk as possible.

Sure enough a huge 9-point buck walked out from the thicket and continued right under and past my stand. He came so close that I easily could have touched him with my foot. I stayed in that position for about twenty minutes, what seemed like an eternity, while the buck was milling around near the stand.

When he finally left I climbed down and walked back to the other stand to get my arrows. Arriving there I jumped tow small bucks and one doe that had bedded down within 20 yards of that stand.
I knew that this was not meant to be my day and went home. At the time I was hopping mad but today I can laugh about it.

[husky30-06]

it was an oct long weekend moose hunting, I invited a friend of mine out to camp with us. He claimed that he could call any bull in the area in. so we figured that why not let him prove it. As the light was drawing to a close, he and another of our hunting partners made their way to a swamp nearby to sit and call. He began with a cow call followed by two short bull calls and waited. After a short time they heard this noise, a loud sucking of air, three times. All of a sudden they heard this "EEAAHH, EEAAHH, EEAAHH !!!!!" he had a literal donkey answer his call, they laughed so hard they cried. When they got back to camp and we sat around the fire eating chicken, he told the story. We laughed so hard no one could eat for about twenty minutes.