Something we havent talked about...

[bigredchev]

The untimely event where you are all tucked into your blind, snuck in nice and early. The light is just coming up on the cut block and the weather is perfect. Your rifle is dialed in, winds ok and...


... the coffee is doing its work. You can feel mr. turtle knocking on heavens door and hes not asking. You are livid as its the worst possible time to make an stir. The pep n cheds for dinner last night aren't helping, neither are the several beers you had in camp all excited setting up the night before. It could also be that damn dease lake chicken.


so what do you do when in a prime hunting spot, and #2 must be done?

[Brew]

I work in the bush everyday so I can go pretty much anywhere. If your much of a Hunter the wind would be in your face already so take 5 steps back drop trousers and release Mr.turtle. Finish up take 5 steps forward continue the hunt.

[Steeleco]

OMG really, are we that boards we need to talk about human turd! LOL

[ChronoShooter]

It's all about pre-hunt training.

I drink 5-7 cups of coffee daily. Hunting, I have one and out the door. One cup barely peels one eye open, let alone 3 (two blue eyes and one brown eye). Then a couple coffees more at lunch to get the bomb bay doors open in the comfort of camp.

[bigredchev]

OMG really, are we that boards we need to talk about human turd! LOL



It's a legit question. I've been in that scenario and had to wade into shin deep water off the island I was on to try and avoid any Land mines giving me away.

[bigredchev]

I work in the bush everyday so I can go pretty much anywhere. If your much of a Hunter the wind would be in your face already so take 5 steps back drop trousers and release Mr.turtle. Finish up take 5 steps forward continue the hunt.

What about if the wind changes? You don't want animals getting a whiff of doritos and recycled hot dogs?

[two-feet]

If i have a set up for calling i try not to soil it with human waste because of the smell factor. But if you have to go you have to go, period.

[Squamch]

Physical self control?

[Big Lew]

To each their own...I try and avoid "the pep n cheds for dinner last night aren't helping, neither are the several beers"
scenario when hunting just for that reason, lol! Having doritos, beans, and washing it all down with beer is just asking
for odiferous results in whatever method of hunting you pursue.

[XPEIer]

Been there,,,,, got to my moose swamp nice and early, all settled and Mr. Turtle and several hundred of his friends came a knocking.... Now I make it a point of dropping the kids off at the pool before I go into my spot.


XPEIER

[Bear Brawler]

I've gotten pretty good at holding a dog poop bag up close personal to the rear door. I've managed to drop the turtle and wipe up, put the wipes in the bag and tie it up. Carry it out when I'm leaving. Done, no mess and nothing left behind. This was perfected while not wanting my droppings to smell up the area I'm hunting in.

[Wentrot]

I've gotten pretty good at holding a dog poop bag up close personal to the rear door. I've managed to drop the turtle and wipe up, put the wipes in the bag and tie it up. Carry it out when I'm leaving. Done, no mess and nothing left behind. This was perfected while not wanting my droppings to smell up the area I'm hunting in.

Dang that takes skill. 9 times out of 10 for me when I'm on a hunting trip I'm laying a 5lb cow patty.

[Ryo]

practice in all shooting positions...

[markomoose]

Took my biggest Deer minutes after #2.He never smelt a thing lol!

[Carrollizer]

https://img1.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.296257069.jpg

[MichelD]

It's not that complicated. Do it like my cat does in the backyard.

[DarekG]

Took my biggest Deer minutes after #2.He never smelt a thing lol!



...Or maybe he did and came out so you could end his misery. :lol:

[bigredchev]

It's not that complicated. Do it like my cat does in the backyard.

Sure what's your address?

[monasheemountainman]

Sure what's your address?
Hahahahaha funny

[ChronoShooter]

It's not that complicated. Do it like my cat does in the backyard.

While screaming at the top of your lungs, and spraying?

[albravo2]

Dang, Steeleco was right. Some folks need to get out of the house.

Funny replies though...

FWIW, I don't think #2 smells more potently than anything else about us so if you are down wind, you're down wind. If they can smell your butt, they can smell your pits or your laundry soap.

[butthead]

plan 3 xxxxxx

[webley]

I haven,t laughed so hard in a long time, thanks fellows. Steve!

[Dirty Steve]

I missed a dandy this year but managed to not soil my drawers... After 4 days of pounding areas hard I finally found fresh tracks the night before in fresh snow and decided to hit this area hard in the morning. Hiked in the dark and it started snowing heavily. Got to the cut where the fresh tracks were the night before and started walking the tree line slowly with the odd grumble in the jungle letting me know we had a problem... after 4 days of not seeing a damn thing 4 does walk out at 200 yards with a big buck in pursuit. I could barely make out the points as it was snowing heavily but I knew it was a shooter and figured he would give me a better look within a minute or 2. By this time I was in sheer agony and on the verge of disaster. Thinking 30 seconds wouldn't make a difference as the cut block was well over 700 yard and the herd was following the tree line I let'er rip... buck gone, does gone never to be seen again.... I spent 3 days trying to find them again to no avail and didn't see another deer the rest of the trip.

[Xenomorph]

I don't think I've laughed so hard in a loooong time. You guys crack me up. I don't know if it's the age ...or the "crap" you eat the day before that leads to these untimely, abso-****ing-lutely-hilarious events. I for one can't seem to go, once I'm in the bush, there's nothing coming out the back end, barely enough liquid for the occasional wee.

I'm sorry, I still can't stop laughing.

[Squamch]

Last season I went out for sushi with the wife on Saturday night. Sunday morning, jumped in the truck and headed out with a couple buddies to look for deer. A couple cups at home, a timmies stop...got to a good spot for a short walk, brother parked his truck, we all jump out and go in the agreed directions, planning a return to the truck in half an hour.
Since I was only going a few hundred yards, I left my pack in the (LOCKED) truck. On my way back in started to feel a rolling boil in my guts. I put on a hustle, got to the truck...locked. All doors locked. Checked all the normal spots first a spare key. No spare key. No snot rags in my pockets...nothing.
I couldn't hang on any longer. I dashed into the slash, couldn't even find an appropriate log to hang over...I had to squat and hope for the best. I barely managed to get everything undone and out of the way before sashimi's revenge burst forth.
So there I am, squatting in a slash, pants around my ankles, in the pouring rain, evaluating the price of every article of clothing I'm wearing, and the consequences of sacrificing it. Eventually I cut half my sleeve off my shirt, which is no easy task while wearing the shirt, and a rain coat, with my pants around my ankles, in the rain, and trying not to fall into the pile of recycled salmon behind me.
So that's the story of why I have a merino wool sleeveless t shirt now, and why you never leave the truck without shit tickets.

[DarekG]

sashimi's revenge



evaluating the price of every article of clothing I'm wearing, and the consequences of sacrificing it. Eventually I cut half my sleeve off my shirt, which is no easy task while wearing the shirt, and a rain coat, with my pants around my ankles, in the rain, and trying not to fall into the pile of recycled salmon behind me.


Amazing imagery. :lol:

[rocksteady]

Either slam a cup of coffee in the morning, encourage a dump before I go hunting....

Or if that does not work quick enough, do a bumper dump before I leave the road and hike in..

[hogzotic]

Happened to me once hunting late season mule deer. Was wearing a one piece long John. Ran to a spot, took off my jacket and shirt, peeled down the top off my one piece long John and squatted and did my business. When I was cleaning up and looked back i had crapped all over the sleeve of my still attached one piece long John. WTF!!! Pulled out my hunting knife and bucked the sleeve off!! Lol Kept the long John's and had to tell the story everytime my hunting buddies saw me with one short sleeve, the other one long.!!!lol

[RiverOtter]

Deer like corn, call it a bait pile and hunt it....

[AgSilver]

Had an instance last year where the pack was left in the truck as we ended up going further than we thought (I really have to stop leaving the pack behind...it's a consistent theme whenever I have a problem!). Fortunately, there was plenty of foliage around...

[Mosin]

I like to shit where other people will find it. Just kidding. Well if ur in the bush like others have mentioned, take 5 steps back, try not to sound like a truck doing a burn out on a gravel road and presto done

[Surrey Boy]

I eat nuts and candy in the blind. Hiking it's oatmeal, raisins.

[Bugle M In]

I eat nuts and candy in the blind. Hiking it's oatmeal, raisins.

Squirrels love you!

[Bugle M In]

As for what to do....take Imodium the night before and the morning of your hunt before you go out...I suppose..

God..this is just to funny....gotta go!....lol.

[tadpole]

As for what to do....take Imodium the night before and the morning of your hunt before you go out...I suppose..

.


Through chemistry to a better life?

[Dirty Steve]

I will never again wear Carhartt overalls while hunting! The shoulder straps seem to dangle right in the target zone....

[Bugle M In]

Through chemistry to a better life?

If ya ever go to Mexico, you will appreciate the stuff for the "flight home"!

[Five]

... the coffee is doing its work. You can feel mr. turtle knocking on heavens door and hes not asking.


This made my day.

[sobirch]

Shit, shovel, and shut up LOL. Just scrape a hole in forest duff or snow with your boot or pull back a slab of moss do your business and cover it up. Always have TP in the pack.

[HarryToolips]

Had an instance last year where the pack was left in the truck as we ended up going further than we thought (I really have to stop leaving the pack behind...it's a consistent theme whenever I have a problem!). Fortunately, there was plenty of foliage around...
Lol yes, Mullen I find works best, as well as grass in large bunches, or moss...Canadian tire $$$ is also handy...

[downsouth204]

Lol!!! I usually use the back of my boot to dig a small hole, do my business and cover over. Trick I learned from the cat down the road :)
That being said I started out treestand hunting and used to pee in a bottle, no doubt to the amusement of the deer watching the commotion... After a couple years of this and on the advice of a buddy I just pee'd right off the stand onto the ground. A couple times had deer walk under the stand shortly after, check it out and they could care less.
Just my experience.

[albravo2]

One of the funniest threads in years.

If I ever see someone with one short sleeve, I'll draw my own conclusions.

[Dirty Steve]

I wore a pair of cheap white cotton socks under my wool socks for years... At $2 a pair it was great insurance.
Now I haul a pack around with shit tickets, shop towels for after gut cleanup, jet boil with coffee press, fresh ground coffee, and a few celebratory beers...

[JDR]

I try butt kegels and if that doesn't work I $hit in my blind and pick it up with a doggy bag. Maybe that's why no one wants to hunt with me...

[Chopper]

So this is the answer you are looking for ... Its the real deal , and it is very good for your health. Every morning when i wake up i drink 1.5 liters of water on an empty stomach. One liter does not have the same effect. Dont eat anything for 45 minutes ... Believe me, anything in your guts from the day/night before .... Will not be there inside that 45 min. You will not have to worry about shting until break feast goes through. Be warned ... LOL the first time you do this ... It will smell like an animal died in your ass. This maneuver cleans you out ! It works best with mountain or well water. Tap water or bottled water is effed with. I dont find it works the same.

I do that every morning, It helps with inflammation and other ailments as well. It is very good for you blood, pumps up you hemoglobin and white blood cell count. Of course, if your not used to doing it ... you will piss heavy. But i guess if your in a stand, it will be easier to piss in a bottle than sht lol

Good luck with all your shting lol

[ChronoShooter]

I try butt kegels and if that doesn't work I $hit in my blind and pick it up with a doggy bag. Maybe that's why no one wants to hunt with me...

I want to hunt with you.

[Bugle M In]

I want to hunt with you.

:shock:...............................

[DeepJeep]

all this shit talk is actually making me think of taking a shit right now...

[Wild one]

Most cases pick a bush drop the bomb and keep moving

Now stuck in a tree stand and guts go so side ways you won't make the climb down is rough. Than you must pull off the sky dump this involves balance and caution so you don't hit the ground before the payload. Note careful walking under your stand at the end of the hunt.

[scoutlt1]

I want to hunt with you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13ZqvEd5G7E

[Dash]

It's been a while since I've laughed this hard haha

[Phreddy]

Usually when I'm on a hunting trip I almost need to take a shit by cesarian section. This getting old aint for the faint of heart or sissies. (but it beats the alternative, lol)

[tinbird]

Ahhh yes,more than one moose has been drawn in and taken due to the irresistible grunts of a hunter in the amidst of adding to the spoor inventory and the wisdom to have their rifle within reach

[walks with deer]

When my wife first started doing my laundry she was like what happened to the top half of your socks.