Oh the Dilema....

[WesHarm]

Hey guys,

Heres the breakdown... parents wouldn't let me own a firearm and keep it in their house, therefore I decided to move out (this was obviously not the sole factor, new job, financial stability and age factored in as well) however i moved out with the lady friend. She knew of my hunting ambitions (i have my license etc, however without a reliable and human way of dispatching an animal and using it to the best of my abilities I have yet to ever come close to calling myself a "hunter") however apparently never factored in the idea of the fact that we would therefore have a firearm in the house.... turns out, shes DEATHLY afraid of them. Well obviously im going to have to work on this one... but i figured buying said firearm and saying "suck it" :mrgreen: would probably get me no where other then at best the couch.

So in the mean time I've decided to attempt to avidly take up Flyfishing (in my case a very sorry attempt at fly fishing for now) what I was wondering was if anyone knew of any consolidated usefull information, be it text or video that i could use to help myself pick up at minimum the basics, and perferably a "fly fishing dictionary"

I understand the comments of " its called search dumb dumb" however I was just curious on anyones specific knowledge of consolidated material.

As a side note, I have some weekends completely to myself near the end of may, if anyone is looking for a quiet pack mule looking to learn send me a PM!!

Thanks again in advance guys, usually your most helpful :D

[rides bike to work]

Your young find a girl that likes guns. Better a girl who will handle the gun.Just make sure the gun doesn't go off prematurely. Keep your gun clean and make sure you are aware of where you are pointing it at all times.
Thats all I got for ya

[Barracuda]

take up bow hunting?

[keoke]

A firearm in the house is no more scary than a hammer in your tool box. Put either in a deranged persons hand and both should be feared.

As for fly fishing contact your local flyshop and take a fly fishing seminar.

[Hanrahan]

http://www.orvis.com/p/orvis-fly-fishing-guide-revised-edition/65c0

good book. Has all the basics to get you started. I have it as an ebook, but can't find it on amazon right now as an ebook for some reason.

As for the gun, take her to the range and get her to shoot. My ex was the same way until she got to shoot it herself. She never got into shooting, but felt better after handling them herself. Besides, anyone living in a house with guns should at least know how to check and unload them.

[Drillbit]

Sounds like she has a case of Hoplophobia.


Take her shooting. It's like playing "just the tip", she'll go for it. If not, there's no hope for her.

I haven't taken anyone shooting yet, than didn't like it. Most love it.

(and no I don't try and play "just the tip" with everyone I take shooting! lol)

[Duidery]

If she's that afraid of guns, and you buy a bolt action rifle, you could store the rifle at your place and the bolt at someone else's, explaining that the gun can't fire without the bolt.

[WesHarm]

yeah we have a few friends with guns, one of them happens to be one of her good friends, hence i thought it wouldn't be an issue... so were currently lining up dates to take her out and get her aquainted with a couple guns and let her see feel etc. education is the best way to introduce someone anyways right?

Thanks Hanrahanthats just the kind of book i was looking for! looks like it got ALOT of rave reviews! and Keoke i will be looking up a seminar to go to, never thought about asking that question haha

[Big Lew]

If you're renting, consider taking her with you and have her participate in
buying a heavy duty gun safe, one that she is comfortable will safely store
your guns. If you have your own place, consider building a strong reinforced
safe with a quality locking system she's happy with.

[HarryToolips]

Teach her the ACTS and PROVE safety of firearms, and when in the habit of ALWAYS applying these safety checks, a gun is just as safe as any other tool...I clean and maintain my firearms around my wife and two year old, it's just a part of life...

LOL get her familiar with guns and she'll be all over your gun, and you can tell her to suck it all the time and she might listen:mrgreen:

[Tīɡ]

There is a great informative DVD by Joan Wulff (wife of the inventor of the Royal Wulff fly) on the basics of fly casting. Its very informative and gives good visuals, if you can get your hand on it I highly recommend it. Although if you can't, you can PM me and we can figure out you borrowing my copy. Good luck with getting the GF to see the light with regards to firearms in the house.

[.330 Dakota]

I had a similar issue when I met my wife,,,convinced her to come to the range and I would "look after her" and keep her safe,,,ou trust me right? Once there got her shooting a 22 pistol, then a 9mm, then she turned to me and said..quote.."this makes me horny"...I handed her another clip, now shes an avid shooter and hunter

[Sylus]

I had a similar issue when I met my wife,,,convinced her to come to the range and I would "look after her" and keep her safe,,,ou trust me right? Once there got her shooting a 22 pistol, then a 9mm, then she turned to me and said..quote.."this makes me horny"...I handed her another clip, now shes an avid shooter and hunter

Wow, now that is wife material!!

[russm]

I don't know much about fly fishing but I have learned over the years not to let a woman dictate what I can or can't do. My current girlfriend had never been shooting but I brought her when we first met and she love it, now we're looking into getting her a PAL and her CORE

[325]

She's deathly afraid of guns? Boy, our left-wing CBC has done its job well

[boxhitch]

It starts in the schools , kids are taught to fear guns. Unless it is in a video game of course then shooting and maiming is ok.

Fear is the first reaction to something unknown . Find out why she feels that way and try to show her the errors.

If she can't get over it and you can't get over her , fly fishing is a good pass time .
A good book is "The Gilly , a Flyfishers Guide to British Columbia"

[mcmullmar]

What HarryToolips said. Teach her that guns don't kill, not matter what. I takes a human to make the gun work. A responsible person will never point a gun in a dangerous way.

[Philcott]

Start her off with small calibers first. Letting her shoot a 12ga. first time out will only increase her fear.

[Steeleco]

EDUCATION is what she needs. Nothing else will change her unjust fear of something she has only misguided opinions about.

[Glenny]

I would go with your first option you mentioned (Suck it) If she bolts it was never meant to be anyway.

[Everett]

Go by a gun cabinet and install it than go buy a rifle and install it in the cabinet inform girlfriend that she can't have access because she is unlicensed. If girlfriend walks out on you call you mates and throw a party because you dodged a bullet. Women who are afraid of inanimate object tend to be on low side of intelligence and make very poor partner's and living companions.

[drum_boy101]

The forum Fly BC has lots of great info on fly fishing, join up! http://flybc.ca/

Cheers!

[adriaticum]

Move out...

[blackford]

Simple... Let her know the gun came before her....

also... Since you are taking up fishing.... Remember... Always more fish in the sea...


hunting ing is a sport that is expensive and takes time. If she isn't onside with the guns call it quits now because it will always be a friction point.

[r106]

Try educating her on the subject, then take her out shooting small caliber guns like a 22. If she is still standing her ground get rid of her. Find a women that lets you enjoy the stuff you like to do. Sounds harsh but if shes not willing to let you do what you enjoy then in the long run you will not be happy

My wife was totally against hunting and firearms and she has done a 180. She has no interest to go hunting or shooting but totally supports my interest to do so. Even though see enjoys the spoils of a successful hunt. After i got a bunch smokies made out of my bear last year, she's been telling me i need to go get another one. She has gone hunting with me for the first time this year but i haven't connected on anything while shes with me, so we'll see how that goes. lol

[Wild one]

Take her target shooting even if it is just a pellet gun to start. 22 is another great option. Keep it fun and show her safe handling and storage. Go to a range you can rent a firearm even. Even having her hold one of your friends rifles could be a starting point.

Ask her why she fears firearms and the reasons behind it. Explain to her it is no different from a car it is the operator that controls the firearm and both are completely safe used correctly. As I have told many people an unloaded firearm sitting on a table is no more than a chunk of metal.

Other than that your options are bowhunting or get a new Ol lady.

[Wild one]

I had a similar issue when I met my wife,,,convinced her to come to the range and I would "look after her" and keep her safe,,,ou trust me right? Once there got her shooting a 22 pistol, then a 9mm, then she turned to me and said..quote.."this makes me horny"...I handed her another clip, now shes an avid shooter and hunter

I guess you take your wife to the range a lot lol

[goatdancer]

As for fly fishing contact your local flyshop and take a fly fishing seminar.

Best advice. Books and videos are OK but hands on training with a qualified person is the way you will learn. Always good to have someone watch you and give you tips.

[Citori54]

Tell her you will keep the guns out of the house if she keeps her mother out.:lol:

[Hanrahan]

Jesus, you guys are tough. Guns are a rational fear for someone who has never been exposed to them.

[rides bike to work]

Guns aren't a rational fear

[russm]

Jesus, you guys are tough. Guns are a rational fear for someone who has never been exposed to them.

Not harsh at all, unless she's been involved in a situation where a gun was used against her and she's just "scared" because she's never been exposed to guns it's just ignorance (no disrespect intended) and an idea in her head that all guns are bad. What if the OP has other hobbies that she's not into? Is he supposed to just give up on everything he likes because she doesn't? Or friends that she doesn't like, not supposed to hang out with them to make her happy? I've been in the same position with a couple of women with the same issue and not one of them is still around to try and control me.

[keoke]

Amen to that!!!

[Paulyman]

Just buy a gun, store it safely. She'll come around. I lived with a girl that hated guns and hunting, once she saw I wasn't backing down she realized it wasn't worth the fight.

[M.Dean]

Fly fish'in ain't bad, but I like bobber fish'in more. Enough of fish'in talk, a Women afraid of guns? Holy shit Lord, I'll be up to see you shortly, I've seen and heard it all on this earth for one life time! Round here, most Women pack a firearm, and that's just to get the kids to do there chores after school! A couple shots in the air, one at there feet, sure beats scream'in at them all the time! I couldn't help but notice, your from the big City, so when you think about it, you folks got more reason to keep a weapon in the house than we do up here! Darn near all our vermin got 4 furry legs,and real sharp teeth and claws,that's why we keep a gun close by most of the time, your vermin got's two legs, carry's real sharp knives, hand guns and needles, man I think that beats our vermin all to hell! I'd have trouble trying to sleep in your house for sure! But, there is a great solution here! It's called "Personnel Protection"! No, it's not made out of thin latex rubber, God makes them out of hard,cold steel! Weapons! Rifles! Pistols! Revolvers! Man, I could go on all day but I gots to cook supper early cuz the final Canucks games on to night! I'd try to explain to your squeeze how dangerous it is down there, man, don't you folks watch the news? Every dam night someones gett'in stabbed or shot, maimed, raped or killed for God sakes, you and her could be next! You live in a War Zone! You need some real serious fire power, and quickly! You know, what might convince her to let you buy some guns, tomorrow night, around 2am or so, take her for a nice stroll through Surrey! After seeing the first 3 or 4 stabbings and shootings, I bet she starts to 'Come round" if you know what I mean! Good Luck, going to plug the TV in bout now, takes a hour or so to warm up, get the rabbit ears just right, and start supper, good luck, and keep us up to date on your progress! ( bet most of the canucks are book'in "Tee Times" right about now for tomorrow?)

[caddisguy]

WesHarm good to see you here again. Hopefully you are able to re-educate her in regards to firearms. I have yet to encounter someone who will maintain an irrational view on firearms after an open discussion. She does have to be willing to listen and communicate with you though. If she plugs her ears and goes "aaH!!! guns hate them dont want to think about them la la la!!" every time you bring it up--then has a giggle or you even get the impression she's having fun getting a rise out of you--then you might have an issue. If she does behave that way, it is less likely that she really has a fear of guns but rather thinks she is being cute/quirky/whatever, which is a habit that you don't want to re-enforce by playing along. Whatever the reason is, get to the bottom of it and fix it. If it can't be fixed, you have a decision to make. It took me many years and many girlfriends who claimed to be hardcore outdoor enthusiasts before I found who could really fit into my lifestyle. The wedding is in August and we'll be packing rifles and flyfishing gear on our honeymoon.

I think I still have a bunch of books on flyfishing, entomology, fly tying etc kicking around... some are even specific to BC. Heck I might even still have some DVD's with casting tutorials. When I get a chance I'll dig through some boxes and see what I can find for you. If you're free for any weekends late July through August and you want to hit the river, I'll have you thinking like a trout, casting and working the river like magic. Seen the results of caddisguy fly school many a times before and I turn out wicked fly fishers. A few outings and you will internalize everything into muscle memory. You won't think about what to do to mend across varying currents, adjust to gusts of wind, roll casting to perfection so you don't snag that bush behind you. It will just happen!

[WesHarm]

Haha caddis, I can't wait till the skagit opens, we will definitely be going out if your free!!!
mr. dean I love your post!! Lots good infermation in thur ;)

and yes yes we finally got an "outing date" set with a few friends and their 22, (all are very big on safety which will help) her only previous experience with guns was with an M16 in Vietnam, so I'm assuming wasn't the best environment for an introduction to guns to a city girl hahaha

[hoochie]

her only previous experience with guns was with an M16 in Vietnam

Her fear of guns is therefore rational.

[caddisguy]

Good work on setting up an outing with the 22 and safety conscious people. Sounds like the re-education will be swift and efficient! :)

I'll most certainly be free and on the river a lot starting last week of July through until the end of August. We've been adding to our supply of camera gear and will be going all out making underwater vids. Hoping to get enough footage for an hour long action packed video. Might even sacrifice some hunting time mid to late September for the insane dry fly action.

[igojuone]

Is it April Fools again, is this a serious post? I fear for the human race, at least the male side of things.

[.330 Dakota]

I guess you take your wife to the range a lot lol

Thats why I reload...more ammo

[Barracuda]

First time my wife fired an actual firearm It was a 12g 870 I set a tin can on a branch that she could point at and after the shot she turned her head to me with a huge grin and said " I LIKE IT!!" and the rest is history.

[walks with deer]

Sorry bud.. let her try some shooting that said.you have to decide if she won't try it and your after it make your call.
I have met many pretty ladies on gran ville street on Saturday night.come Sunday morning nothing in common.I married a girl from a big ranch in Vernon who packs a 12 gage like your lunch.all what you want from life my friend.
Out of vancouver it's a different world.

[walks with deer]

That's the best help I have for you.
Harsh but it's all up to you.

P's my family's been in North America since 1700 so we are a little one sided and stubborn.

[Hanrahan]

Is it April Fools again, is this a serious post? I fear for the human race, at least the male side of things.

That's a bit of a stretch. It's perfectly normal for people to be hesitant about things they don't know anything about. Especially powerful things that can kill you. Education and experience is key. Lots of people are afraid of driving/riding a motorcycle/getting on a horse/running a chainsaw/jumping out of an airplane at first. Once you learn it can be done safely and get some experience with whatever it is the fear disappears. The way the gun community should deal with non gun owners is to educate and ease them into it. You'd do it with a hunting dog.
Some people just don't like guns in their house. It's not up to me or you to tell them they're irrational. We don't know everybody's story. There were no guns allowed in my house growing up because my cousin was killed with a rifle. People have their reasons and it doesn't mean that the future of humanity is doomed.

[358mag]

Run Forest Run
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2-MCPa_3rU

[nature girl]

Just take your girlfriend to a small hunting and fishing store. Tell her you want to look at fishing stuff. Which you do and then take her to the counter and show her the pink guns. Maybe that would get her interested in guns that way.
Or if that fails. Tell her your the man of the house and I am getting a dam gun.

[emerson]

Irrational phobias are a very uncertain thing to build relationships around. If 1 is ok, there may be more. Without being confident that reason will prevale in your partner's life you could be in for rough ride. What if some irrationality comes up about kids, sex, or money? Divorce is really expensive.

[Hanrahan]

Haha. I thought he came here looking for flyfishing help, not reasons to get rid of his girlfriend. I'm pretty confident in saying this isn't the place to come for relationship advice. lol

[suburbanpat]

Berry's bait and tackle is the place to go down there for gear and advice. As for the girlfriend thing... Buy it, store it, let her deal with it and things will smooth out. Better ask forgiveness than permission. Sometimes you just gotta get shit done

[ajr5406]

"How to Fly Fish" video series by Orvis. Covers all the bases, and very simple: http://howtoflyfish.orvis.com

Also, subscribe to the "Orvis Fly fishing guide" podcast. Tom Rosenbauer does it and its great. Ive learned so much from both, and they are both free. I would recommend some of his books too, but thats already been done.

As for relationships... Be open and honest and tell her exactly what you would like to do, give her the opportunity to express all her concerns, and then agree on a plan. Open communication will solve 90% of your problems. If she still says no, you have to decide what you want more: her or the guns.

[RBH]

As for fly fishing contact your local flyshop and take a fly fishing seminar.

X2 on that. As a diehard do-it-yourselfer who spent years chasing steelhead relatively unproductively, when I look back I think it would have been very smart to get out with a guide early in the game and get up the learning curve way way faster. So yeah, get in touch with the local fly fishing shop and sign up for a course. Try calling Highwater Tackle at (604) 986-3239. Your girlfriend and your parents will be relieved (for now....)

My only other comment is that I didn't start hunting till I was 45 (20 yrs ago). But I was very keen on river fishing for salmon -- up the Squamish in October, etc. However, November was dead and I would mope around doing nothing till steelheading started up in December, little knowing that the best local hunting was happening during those many wasted Novembers. Start hunting now! Get your sweetie keen on the benefits of organic free range, low fat meat (and as everyone on this site will confirm, its FREE!)

[scoutlt1]

Well...just going to throw my two pennies out there on this one....

If you love this young lady and want to stay with her, I would say bring her along when you go fishing, and the times you spend outdoors. If she is from Vietnam and her only "experience" with firearms is an M16 over there, and she's "deathly" afraid of guns, I'm thinking she may have a legitimate issue with guns.
Most definitely not the same as a person growing up here under "normal" circumstances.
If you think it's "worth it", I would spend time talking with her about firearms, how they are not dangerous on their own, how they are fun to shoot, how hunting, fishing, hiking, camping, and spending time outdoors together can be the best thing for a relationship.

She may never get over her fear of guns. You might have to either live with that, not be with her, or stay with her and not be a gun owner.

I'm trying to imagine what it would be like to be from Vietnam and the only firearm I know is an M16....probably an AK too. I may have a different view of things.

If she's the one you want to spend your life with, do what you need to do!

Of course, as already stated, this is probably a terrible site for relationship advice, and hell...I'm single...so wtf do I know! :)

[Phreddy]

A newly wed hunter was sitting in his basement cleaning his firearms one morning when his wife came in and said, "You know dear, now that we're married I think you should sell all that hunting and fishing stuff you have and take up a different sport".
He looked at her with that deer in the headlights look on his face.
She said "What 's the matter? Are you ok?"
He replied, "I'm fine, but for a minute there you sounded like my first wife".
She flipped out and screamed, "WHAT? YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!!!!
He quietly went back to cleaning his guns and said, "I wasn't".

[Ferenc]

Things to say to girlfriends:

1) I hunted before I meet ya

2) I'm going to hunt while were together

3) If we ever break up... I'm sill going to hunt

4) End of story. : )

[bigredchev]

Would it be fair to ask her to stop or give up her favorite passtime?

[hare_assassin]

Go by a gun cabinet and install it than go buy a rifle and install it in the cabinet inform girlfriend that she can't have access because she is unlicensed. If girlfriend walks out on you call you mates and throw a party because you dodged a bullet. Women who are afraid of inanimate object tend to be on low side of intelligence and make very poor partner's and living companions.

This. So friggin' true.

[HarryToolips]

Things to say to girlfriends:

1) I hunted before I meet ya

2) I'm going to hunt while were together

3) If we ever break up... I'm sill going to hunt

4) End of story. : )
LOL that would sum it up, if she don't like it too bad...